I've been gone for some time now, so I suppose anyone finding this will need an introduction. I figure that most of my cyberfriends of the past have simply left me for dead once I fell off of the radar.
So, let me bring you up to speed on who I am, what I do and what you may expect to find here.
My name's Jeff. I'm a 37 year old stay at home dad from Bear, Delaware. What??? You've never heard of Bear, Delaware???
You probably never will again. Not that its some podunk redneck hideaway tucked into the woods. Its just a suburb. My house looks like my neighbor's and his house looks like the guy across the street's.
But anyway....
I'm an at home dad. If you don't know what I mean, let me put it to you simply. I do the same job most women did for centuries. I am at home (in a round about way) all day every day. I do the housework, I care for the kids, I taxi them around, I do the grocery shopping. If June Cleaver did it, so do I, except I do it with facial hair and manly bits
I have two daughters.
Big One is now 7. She's just finished first grade. She loves reading, drawing and animals, especially horses. She can be Daddy's Little Sweetheart, or a complete and utter bitch. (did I just say that about my own offspring????? oops.)
Wee One is about to turn 5. She is starting kindergarten in the fall. She is my spaz child. Born with a sense of humor to rival my own and a wit that cannot be compared. She is definitely a breed all to herself. In other words, she can be a bit weird. (yup... I said that too)
My darling wife, whom I will refer to as "The Wife" is a retail manager and the one that Big One takes after most (personality wise that is).
I've been at this at home dad thing for just over 7 years now. I've seen alot. Not all, but alot. I've gone through phases, I've made changes and adapted to things. I try to keep a level head about things but sometimes stuff just pours out. You'll be sure to see opinions that you don't agree with. You'll be sure to see thing that will make you think, "What the HELL was he thinking????" Hopefully some stuff will make you laugh. Hopefully other stuff will make you think. I don't expect to change the world or even any individual minds. I'm just here to blow off steam.
Thanks for checking in.
Jun 6, 2008
Jun 5, 2008
Friends, lurkers, people who just happen to stumble onto this site.
The time has come.
It has been a very, VERY long time since a true update has been made. I know that in the past I'd said I would return. I promised to start writing again.
Well....
I'm taking it a bit further this time. I plan a complete restructuring of "No Ma'am, this IS my job".
Over the next few days, I'm going to spend some time researching and rebuilding.
I hope to be back up and running soon..... and hopefully catch up with some old friends in the cyber world.
The time has come.
It has been a very, VERY long time since a true update has been made. I know that in the past I'd said I would return. I promised to start writing again.
Well....
I'm taking it a bit further this time. I plan a complete restructuring of "No Ma'am, this IS my job".
Over the next few days, I'm going to spend some time researching and rebuilding.
I hope to be back up and running soon..... and hopefully catch up with some old friends in the cyber world.
Aug 29, 2007
If you're looking for a balloon artist in Delaware...
click on the logo to visit Mister Honkers' new website.
Aug 4, 2006
Mr. Honkers Is Taking Over
I've been keeping myself busy lately with my new hobby.
The 4th of July hat was just the tip of the iceberg.
My new alter ego, "Mr. Honkers" is a wanna-be pro balloon twister. He's been practicing and practicing lately. Keeping both of us pretty busy.
While I'm (of course) happy to have the job I have (read: my kids) I'm thinking of making a few extra bucks on the weekends by twisting balloons.
To give you an idea of what keeps me busy these hot, hot, hot afternoons....
The 4th of July hat was just the tip of the iceberg.
My new alter ego, "Mr. Honkers" is a wanna-be pro balloon twister. He's been practicing and practicing lately. Keeping both of us pretty busy.
While I'm (of course) happy to have the job I have (read: my kids) I'm thinking of making a few extra bucks on the weekends by twisting balloons.
To give you an idea of what keeps me busy these hot, hot, hot afternoons....
This one is slightly deflated after a few days in the play room. Its a hat with a monkey on a palm tree.
Jul 25, 2006
Goodnight Melanie
It appears that "Melanie" from the "Goodnight Show" on PBS Sprout has been canned.
Sprout is a 24 hour channel airing only PBS kids' shows. Melanie is the nightime host.
I've always found her a bit odd.... scary at times.
Well, I have nothing left to fear.
Someone in the PBS brass obviously found a little video production Ms. Melanie was in before her latest career move. I, of course, could not go without finding this myself.
So, for your viewing pleasure, here it is...
(Warning: While this may not be visually unacceptable, its not something you want the kiddies to hear..... PBS fired her for a reason.)
The video that killed a career.
Sprout is a 24 hour channel airing only PBS kids' shows. Melanie is the nightime host.
I've always found her a bit odd.... scary at times.
Well, I have nothing left to fear.
Someone in the PBS brass obviously found a little video production Ms. Melanie was in before her latest career move. I, of course, could not go without finding this myself.
So, for your viewing pleasure, here it is...
(Warning: While this may not be visually unacceptable, its not something you want the kiddies to hear..... PBS fired her for a reason.)
The video that killed a career.
Jul 14, 2006
Getting Their Feet (and various other body parts) Wet
Our gracious friend "Hippie Dad" has allowed us to join him and his offspring at their pool the past few days.
I have to admit, at first I was a little apprehensive about going in "the big pool" with The Girls, but it all worked out in the end.
To start, I am not much of a swimmer myself. I'm more of what you would call "a sinker". And trust me, if Marine Corps Boot Camp couldn't teach me to swim, no one can. Not that I can't swim at all. I could do it if my life truly depended on it. But, the closest I'll ever come to crossing the English Channel is flipping past BBC America with my T.V. remote.
This, I figured, would be yet another trait my children would inherit from me.
In times past, Big One has shown the desire to swim. The only problem she seems to have is a phobia, of sorts, about getting her face wet. The slightest drip near her eye and she must dry off immediately. Not the easiest thing to do with hands so water logged they're more wrinkled than the waiting room at a Botox clinic.
Wee One on the other hand has steered clear of water (outside of the bathtub) completely since birth. She's never been one to even splash about in the kiddie pool.
Not this Summer.
They're both obsessed with this whole pool thing now. They're both pleading to start swimming lessons. Big One even went so far as to dunk herself underwater today. A feat which, in the past, would have been worse than death. Wee One, whose only contact with water other than a bath has been in a precariously filled pail in which she'd sit, was ready to jump in with no flotation device or assistance. (I didn't quite allow that.)
So, that's it...... I guess I'm in the market for swimming lessons....... for three of us (I guess its worth another try).
I have to admit, at first I was a little apprehensive about going in "the big pool" with The Girls, but it all worked out in the end.
To start, I am not much of a swimmer myself. I'm more of what you would call "a sinker". And trust me, if Marine Corps Boot Camp couldn't teach me to swim, no one can. Not that I can't swim at all. I could do it if my life truly depended on it. But, the closest I'll ever come to crossing the English Channel is flipping past BBC America with my T.V. remote.
This, I figured, would be yet another trait my children would inherit from me.
In times past, Big One has shown the desire to swim. The only problem she seems to have is a phobia, of sorts, about getting her face wet. The slightest drip near her eye and she must dry off immediately. Not the easiest thing to do with hands so water logged they're more wrinkled than the waiting room at a Botox clinic.
Wee One on the other hand has steered clear of water (outside of the bathtub) completely since birth. She's never been one to even splash about in the kiddie pool.
Not this Summer.
They're both obsessed with this whole pool thing now. They're both pleading to start swimming lessons. Big One even went so far as to dunk herself underwater today. A feat which, in the past, would have been worse than death. Wee One, whose only contact with water other than a bath has been in a precariously filled pail in which she'd sit, was ready to jump in with no flotation device or assistance. (I didn't quite allow that.)
So, that's it...... I guess I'm in the market for swimming lessons....... for three of us (I guess its worth another try).
Jul 4, 2006
Happy 4th
I've been trying out a new hobby lately, and it comes in handy especially on holidays and birthdays.
I've been practicing "air-igami". I bend air into interesting shapes. The air is only temporarily contained in latex containers.
Here's an example....
I've been practicing "air-igami". I bend air into interesting shapes. The air is only temporarily contained in latex containers.
Here's an example....
Happy 4th of July Everyone!
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