No Ma'am, this IS my job

Allow Me To Re-Introduce Myself

2008-06-06T14:44:00.003-04:00

I've been gone for some time now, so I suppose anyone finding this will need an introduction. I figure that most of my cyberfriends of the past have simply left me for dead once I fell off of the radar.
So, let me bring you up to speed on who I am, what I do and what you may expect to find here.

My name's Jeff. I'm a 37 year old stay at home dad from Bear, Delaware. What??? You've never heard of Bear, Delaware???
You probably never will again. Not that its some podunk redneck hideaway tucked into the woods. Its just a suburb. My house looks like my neighbor's and his house looks like the guy across the street's.
But anyway....
I'm an at home dad. If you don't know what I mean, let me put it to you simply. I do the same job most women did for centuries. I am at home (in a round about way) all day every day. I do the housework, I care for the kids, I taxi them around, I do the grocery shopping. If June Cleaver did it, so do I, except I do it with facial hair and manly bits
I have two daughters.
Big One is now 7. She's just finished first grade. She loves reading, drawing and animals, especially horses. She can be Daddy's Little Sweetheart, or a complete and utter bitch. (did I just say that about my own offspring????? oops.)
Wee One is about to turn 5. She is starting kindergarten in the fall. She is my spaz child. Born with a sense of humor to rival my own and a wit that cannot be compared. She is definitely a breed all to herself. In other words, she can be a bit weird. (yup... I said that too)
My darling wife, whom I will refer to as "The Wife" is a retail manager and the one that Big One takes after most (personality wise that is).

I've been at this at home dad thing for just over 7 years now. I've seen alot. Not all, but alot. I've gone through phases, I've made changes and adapted to things. I try to keep a level head about things but sometimes stuff just pours out. You'll be sure to see opinions that you don't agree with. You'll be sure to see thing that will make you think, "What the HELL was he thinking????" Hopefully some stuff will make you laugh. Hopefully other stuff will make you think. I don't expect to change the world or even any individual minds. I'm just here to blow off steam.

Thanks for checking in.

2008-06-05T23:30:00.003-04:00

Friends, lurkers, people who just happen to stumble onto this site.
The time has come.
It has been a very, VERY long time since a true update has been made. I know that in the past I'd said I would return. I promised to start writing again.
Well....
I'm taking it a bit further this time. I plan a complete restructuring of "No Ma'am, this IS my job".
Over the next few days, I'm going to spend some time researching and rebuilding.
I hope to be back up and running soon..... and hopefully catch up with some old friends in the cyber world.

If you're looking for a balloon artist in Delaware...

2007-08-29T11:21:00.001-04:00

click on the logo to visit Mister Honkers' new website.

Mr. Honkers Is Taking Over

2006-08-04T10:41:00.000-04:00

I've been keeping myself busy lately with my new hobby.
The 4th of July hat was just the tip of the iceberg.
My new alter ego, "Mr. Honkers" is a wanna-be pro balloon twister. He's been practicing and practicing lately. Keeping both of us pretty busy.
While I'm (of course) happy to have the job I have (read: my kids) I'm thinking of making a few extra bucks on the weekends by twisting balloons.
To give you an idea of what keeps me busy these hot, hot, hot afternoons....

I haven't seen "Wedding Crashers" yet, but as soon as you start twisting a balloon, someone who has is bound to ask for a bike.
This one is slightly deflated after a few days in the play room. Its a hat with a monkey on a palm tree.

Big One told me she wanted a diamond ring...

Goodnight Melanie

2006-07-25T07:35:00.000-04:00

It appears that "Melanie" from the "Goodnight Show" on PBS Sprout has been canned.
Sprout is a 24 hour channel airing only PBS kids' shows. Melanie is the nightime host.
I've always found her a bit odd.... scary at times.
Well, I have nothing left to fear.
Someone in the PBS brass obviously found a little video production Ms. Melanie was in before her latest career move. I, of course, could not go without finding this myself.
So, for your viewing pleasure, here it is...
(Warning: While this may not be visually unacceptable, its not something you want the kiddies to hear..... PBS fired her for a reason.)
The video that killed a career.

Getting Their Feet (and various other body parts) Wet

2006-07-14T21:33:00.000-04:00

Our gracious friend "Hippie Dad" has allowed us to join him and his offspring at their pool the past few days.
I have to admit, at first I was a little apprehensive about going in "the big pool" with The Girls, but it all worked out in the end.
To start, I am not much of a swimmer myself. I'm more of what you would call "a sinker". And trust me, if Marine Corps Boot Camp couldn't teach me to swim, no one can. Not that I can't swim at all. I could do it if my life truly depended on it. But, the closest I'll ever come to crossing the English Channel is flipping past BBC America with my T.V. remote.
This, I figured, would be yet another trait my children would inherit from me.
In times past, Big One has shown the desire to swim. The only problem she seems to have is a phobia, of sorts, about getting her face wet. The slightest drip near her eye and she must dry off immediately. Not the easiest thing to do with hands so water logged they're more wrinkled than the waiting room at a Botox clinic.
Wee One on the other hand has steered clear of water (outside of the bathtub) completely since birth. She's never been one to even splash about in the kiddie pool.
Not this Summer.
They're both obsessed with this whole pool thing now. They're both pleading to start swimming lessons. Big One even went so far as to dunk herself underwater today. A feat which, in the past, would have been worse than death. Wee One, whose only contact with water other than a bath has been in a precariously filled pail in which she'd sit, was ready to jump in with no flotation device or assistance. (I didn't quite allow that.)
So, that's it...... I guess I'm in the market for swimming lessons....... for three of us (I guess its worth another try).

Happy 4th

2006-07-04T13:01:00.000-04:00

I've been trying out a new hobby lately, and it comes in handy especially on holidays and birthdays.
I've been practicing "air-igami". I bend air into interesting shapes. The air is only temporarily contained in latex containers.
Here's an example....

Happy 4th of July Everyone!

Some Nuggets Of Wisdom From My Girls

2006-06-27T15:23:00.000-04:00

According the The Big One, your uvula (the little punching bag like thingy hanging in the back of your mouth) is the "vagina in your throat."
And, from The Wee One, I offer you this little story.
I caught her while she was running for the stairs, wondering where she was going in such a hurry.
Her response was quick and without hesitation..... "I have to go roll around on my bed. I have the hiccups and I need to get rid of them."
So there you go. The next time you are suffering with incurable hiccups, feel free to drop by and roll around on Wee One's bed. According to her, its the only cure.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

2006-06-23T09:57:00.000-04:00

The crack of the bat.
The roar of the crowd.
Its hard not to love baseball on a warm summer night. Cold beer, hot dogs, the 6, 4, 3 double play they're all things I used to love about going to a ballgame.
Now, I take my kids.
Don't get me wrong. I love introducing my offspring to a game that I love and seeing them enjoy it. I love having family time in an environment where there's something for everyone.
But baseball used to be something very different for me.
In days past my buddies and I would head to the ballpark take our seats and not move for innings on end. The beer vendors would be by soon enough, and hey, there's a game to watch.
Now, I'm lucky if I get through half an inning without someone needing a drink/ice cream/hot dog/pretzel/cotton candy/souvenir ball/giant foam finger/trip to the potty. Not to mention every thirty seconds I have to answer the question, "Daddy, are the Blue Rocks winning?"
(The Wilmington Blue Rocks (our Home Team) are a Class A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox. This of course, means something to The Wife, being as that she's from New England and lived in Boston for a while. I, on the other hand, am a long time New York Mets fan with not much love for my home teams' parent organization. Happy 20th Anniversary Bill Buckner..... Red Sox fans should remember him.)
I'm not an anal baseball fan. I'm not the guy with the little stumpy pencil and scorecard marking every hit and out. Most of the time, I don't even care who wins or loses. But I do enjoy and miss the serenity I used to have at the ballpark.
Someday I hope to be watching one, if not both, of my girls take the field. And trust me, I'll be one darned proud dad that day. Until then, I'm just the lackey errand boy fetching the giant foam fingers.

Just For Sheila.....

2006-06-23T09:56:00.000-04:00

Long Time Gone

2006-06-21T14:00:00.000-04:00

Hey there faithful few.....
I know.
I swore before I'd be back.... and.... well..... I lied.
Sorry.
But I've been up to something lately.
"What?" you ask.
I've started a new Dads' Group for my area. I haven't given up on my old At Home Dads' Group. I've just decided to expand on the effort.
The new group iDAD (involved Dads Around Delaware) is set up as a forum for all involved fathers. A group in which to share stories, experience and advice. In the future we may look into playgroups or outings and possibly a few "Dads Only" events, but for now, it will be there as a place for Dads to get together and be Dads.
Whether you're a stay at home dad, a work at home dad or a dad working outside of the home, as long as your family is your first concern, it will be the group for you.
If you're in the area and you're interested, drop me a line or stop by the Yahoo Group and sign up.
Its still pretty new and there aren't many guys on the list right now, but hopefully that'll change soon.

Hope all is well with all of you and yours.
Enjoy your Summer.

Wow

2006-05-08T23:19:00.000-04:00

This is kind of strange.
Its sort of like running into that ex-girlfriend to whom you said you'd "still be friends" in the mall.
"Yeah.... I know I said I'd get back to you. I just sorta got lost in time.... Ya know? Things came up."
I've gotta tell ya, the weather's been really awesome around here lately. And to be honest, while I may really enjoy throwing out as many entries on here as I can, running around outside with my kids is a hell of a lot more fun (and quite a bit more tiring so that rules out midnight typing).
We've spent alot of time just playing, which is great, but I've finally gotten some work done around the house as well. I've planted new grass, trimmed back my trees, power washed and started staining my deck. My fat dog is losing weight because she's finally getting walked regularly and my little dog is finally starting to calm down from simply being worn out on a daily basis. He's almost learned how to catch a frisbee, and as soon as the thing stops ricocheting off his head, I'm sure he'll get it.
But for now, I promise, I'll be back semi-regularly. This week is gonna be a bit busy. While the weather isn't so great, The Wife is out of town for the week and I'm flyin' solo with The Girls, the dogs and the guinea pig. If I survive, I'll be back.
So, I'm sorry I didn't write. You know I still love you.... Its not you, its me. We can still be friends? Right?

Be Back Soon

2006-04-24T21:26:00.000-04:00

Been really busy around the house lately...
I'll have a post up soon though.... I promise

Thanks

2006-04-12T13:05:00.000-04:00

Everyone's been quite helpful with my MIL situation.
While it may appear the The Wife isn't exactly taking my side, that's not really the case.
She does agree with me completely, and is just as upset about it as I am. The main problem seems to be that she hasn't heard or seen her mother do this with our kids so she doesn't get the same "rage effect" I do when I witness it firsthand. She doesn't doubt it at all, because as I'd mentioned before, this is how she was treated as a youngster.
The problem is that because she was treated like this, I think she's a little afraid of bringing it up to her mother.
I've (both times its happened) explained to The Girls that what Grammy said was not right and that's something that shouldn't be said to anyone at any time.
The problem seems to boil down to MIL feeling she's the matriarch and can say and do as she feels without apology or regret.
I hate to get all "dad" with her, but it is going to be explained..... calmly..... that when she's in my house, she will follow my rules. If she can not or will not, she will not be welcome.
Its a really sad state of affairs. I do love my MIL. Most of the time she can be a sweet old lady. She, much like my wife, does not have much "maternal instinct" (if there really is such a thing) and isn't the overly affectionate "my grandkids are the greatest thing on the face of the Earth" type like my own mother is and grandmothers were. However much I'd like to think I can change this, I doubt I can or will. The only thing I can do is lay down my rules, stick to my guns and hope for the best.
I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Oh.... and Shannon..... I'd considered your idea before you even brought it up. Unfortunately, while I think it might get a point across, I don't think it would send the right message to the kids.

Oops. She's Did It Again.

2006-04-10T15:55:00.000-04:00

I've mentioned my Mother In Law before. I've also mentioned the problems I've had with her.
This past weekend I got a refresher of a major problem I'd dealt with before.
Saturday was going like any other Saturday, with the exception of M.I.L. being present. We were getting close to lunch time and Big One was playing a video game on the computer.
I'd asked her several times to stop and have lunch, and several times I was essentially ignored. Its not much of a problem for me.... I'm somewhat used to it. Its the reason I actually call her for lunch before I even prepare it. By the time I actually get her away from what she's doing, it will actually be time for lunch.
Anyway.... M.I.L. sat and watched as I asked and asked that she stop playing and come to lunch. Eventually, as I usually do, I ended up reaching over and simply turning off the monitor. Works every time. Not to say that it doesn't cause a fit, but it works.
So.... Said fit is thrown and M.I.L. decides to chime in..... in her exact words...."Why don't you just listen to your father and get over here for lunch you stupid kid!"
This is not the first time she's used the word "stupid" in reference to my child. The first was just a few short months ago, and if you don't remember the story or haven't been coming around here long enough to have read it (I'm too lazy and pissed off right now to link to it) I responded to her quite harshly then. There was no confusion. I would not allow anyone.... Not relative or stranger... talk to my child that way. Yet, here she is, just a few months later doing it again.
My attention quickly shifted from the child throwing a fit at the computer to the woman playing solitaire on my kitchen counter.
"You just did it again..... I cannot believe you just did that AGAIN!"
I just stood there, collecting my jaw off the floor.
Her only response.......
"Yes. I did."
No "sorry". Nothing. No form of apology or regret.
Just, "Yes. I did."
I just stood there staring for a few minutes..... maybe hours, I was in too much of a rage to move.
If it were not for the fact that she was in town for Big One's birthday party (the next day) I would have put her on a train immediately and explained it all to The Wife when she came home from work. As it stands, when I did tell The Wife, she just kind of blew it off. I understand that's how she was brought up, but its no excuse to talk to MY child that way.
As it stands, I'm going to talk to The Wife tonight when she gets home tonight. I'm very close to not wanting my M.I.L. to visit any more. Each time she comes there seems to be a new problem either with her or the way she acts with or treats my children.
I cannot put an all out ban on her, but I really don't know what to do. The fact that she's done such a thing A SECOND TIME after knowing how upset it made me the first only leads me to believe it will only happen again. And I refuse to accept that.

I've Had Plenty Of Birds On My Grill Before...

2006-04-05T10:54:00.000-04:00

But never like this....
This little bugger is attempting to build his nest inside my grill.
Not a bad place really. Its roomy. It has easy access. Its not far from the bird feeder. The only drawback is that it gets really hot from time to time.

A Couple Of Tips To Share

2006-04-02T17:49:00.000-04:00

As I've mentioned before, I've been working on my Spring cleaning.
So far, most of my springs are shining like new.
Actually, I just wanted to share a few things I've been using around the house.
First, baking soda is a gift from the gods.
Sprinkle a little on a damp sponge and your stainless steel will sparkle.
Another great place I use it (and it makes a pretty cool science experiment for the kiddies) is the drip pans on my stove. These tend to get a bit crusty with cooked on goo. I sprinkle on some baking soda (pretty liberally) and then dump on some white vinegar. Let it bubble all it wants and sit for a few minutes. All of that baked on caked on grime and goo wipes away alot easier.
Second, dryer sheets aren't just for the laundry anymore.
I chop one up into tiny bits and suck it up in the vacuum before doing the rest of the house. I have a bagless vac, and aside from making the vacuum exhaust smell like fresh laundry, it cuts down on the static in the chamber making all the dog hair I suck up on a daily basis swirl like a trailer park in tornado alley. From time to time, I'll even clip one on to one of the blades of my ceiling fan and let it run. The whole place smells like a mountain spring.... or whatever it is that fresh laundry smells like. They're even good for dusting the t.v. and computer screen.

On another note, I've fallen in love with Bisquick.
1 cup of Bisquick a dash of oregano and garlic powder mixed with 1/4 cup of hot water, kneaded about 20 times and left to rise a bit on top of an oven heated to 450 makes for a decent pizza crust for a personal sized pizza, as well as pretty good thin bread sticks. Just cook (in said pre heated oven) until the crust is golden brown and you're set.

Ain't I just the happy homemaker?

Why Do At Home Dads Get Any Press Coverage?

2006-03-31T10:04:00.000-05:00

I've heard it asked alot.
Countless moms around the world do the same thing any at home dad does and they don't get front page coverage for it. Why then should we, as dads, get that coverage?
Personally, I'm a media whore. I'll jump up on my soapbox and preach the wonders of my job from sunrise to sunset to whoever will listen. Do I do it because I think I'm special? No. I do it because I have the privilege of doing this job and I know there are other dads doing it too and we need each other.
I may go to my dads only playgroup. I may attend an at home dads' convention. I do not, however, do this because I think we, as men, deserve extra attention because we are men. I hang out with guys because that's what I am. No matter what I do. No matter how many diapers I've changed or bottles I've warmed, I'm still a man.
No matter how welcome we may be in some moms' groups, we're still men and we need other men to relate to. There's a certain amount of brotherhood in knowing the guys I'm hanging out with do the same things I do on a regular basis.
So, yeah.... There's going to be stories about at home dads in the news. We're a minority, and the press eats that kind of stuff up. Someday, I'd hope we weren't such a minority and could just blend into mainstream America. Until then, we need a way to find each other. We need to be able to get together and share our war stories the same way moms do when they get together. The easiest way to do that is to get ourselves out there. If that means taking up space on the front page of the news paper, or popping up on the 6 o'clock news, then look for my face. Because although I don't think I'm necessarily doing anything special compared to all the at home moms out there, I do know it can be somewhat isolating being a man doing it. The only thing I'm trying to gain is the attention of other at home dads and bring them into my little circle.
I'm not special. I didn't "give up a career" to do what I do. I'm not making any sacrifices to stay at home with my children. I'm not working any harder than any mother you see doing the same thing. I'm just doing it with more testosterone.

I'm Almost Afraid To Drive

2006-03-23T23:22:00.001-05:00

I've missed, by only a matter of seconds on one occasion, being involved in two accidents this week.

My only job before 9 a.m. is to get Big One to school. Easy enough.
Tuesday morning we were following protocol and travelling west on Rt. 40. I noticed a primered Mustang pull up along side of us. I'm a bit of a sucker for an old Mustang, so I tood immediate notice. My mind wandered a bit thinking about the things I could do to a car like that. She disappeared into traffic, just a few cars ahead of us. With the morning commute, there's a lot of vans and trucks around, so I didn't really see where she went.
Suddenly, I saw a puff of dust come up from the median and a van pulled over onto the right side of the road. Traffic slowed instantly. I thought, maybe he just blew a tire. Then, as I drove past... a matter of mere seconds later... I saw that primered Mustang wrapped around a tree. She wasn't speeding. It appears someone cut her off and she lost control while overcompensating the turn.
I had a strong compulsion to stop. I know some emergency procedures and I've trained in First Aid and C.P.R. in the past. The thing is, I had my 4 year old in the back seat of the van, and had no idea what I'd find in the front seat of that Mustang. I couldn't stop. I couldn't subject my child to what could have been there. It turns out the woman driving was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital after emergency crews freed her from the car. Could I have made a difference? Who knows. I feel a bit of guilt, but as a father, I knew my child would not be prepared to deal with what could have been and I had no other choice.
The very next day, not a mile away from that accident scene and at about the same time I noticed traffic slowing once again. As we approached the intersection, there was a car turned sideways in the right hand lane, its front end smashed. Another car was on the opposite side of the road, facing the wrong direction and turned up on its side. New Castle County Police were already on the scene, and at least one victim was being tended to in the median.

I'm taking a new route to school in the mornings.

Blatant Plagiarism

2006-03-20T10:37:00.000-05:00

Back in December, my dads' group got some great press from the Wilmington News Journal.
Here's the link for that story......
News Journal Story

Over the past weekend, while cruising around the internet, I found a link to a story about my dads' group on a website I've never heard of. Of course, I checked it out.
Not only did they basically copy and paste the entire article (other than changing one little snippet mentioning the reporters name), the reporter put her own name on the piece and put a copyright on it.
Check it out here.....
Copy Cat

While I and the rest of my group enjoy any press we can get, to be so bold as to completely steal a story goes beyond the realm of bad taste. I'd rather see this article removed from that site or the reporter contact me and get her own story.

It makes me wonder how credible the "International Association of Work At Home Moms and Dads" really is, let alone how many of the articles on their website are legitimately their own.

I've contacted the News Journal, and they're contacting the website. I was more than happy to point it out to them. As a blogger (and what I'd like to sometimes consider a writer) I know I'd be slightly more than pissed if someone stole my material.

Spring Cleaning

2006-03-18T18:27:00.000-05:00

I've taken a head start on spring cleaning.
So far, I've started scrubbing windows, baseboards and light fixtures.
I do have to say one positive thing..... I have fallen in love with my Little Giant Ladder.
This thing has helped me reach all those corners and hidden spots I've never reached before without dragging out several ladders at one time.
Enough with the ads. Now for the real question.

How is it, the cleaner your house gets, the dirtier you feel?

I've been cleaning for the past two days, and I feel like I haven't showered in over a week. I guess all the dirt I'm cleaning up needs someplace to go. I just wish it didn't pick my body as its new place of residence.

Pog Mo Thoin

2006-03-17T15:38:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

May those who love us love us,

And those that don't love us,

May God turn their hearts.

And if He doesn't turn their hearts,

May He turn their ankles,

So we'll know them by their limping.

Slainte!

I'm a proud descendant of the Irish. Very proud. I could go on and on with political and historical debate about my ancestral home, but I've learned my lesson about posting my opinions. So, instead, I'll let you know what my little Irish lasses have been up to this week to drive me toward another Guinness.

Do any of you know how nearly impossible it is to explain to a (nearly) 5 year old that a shamrock and a clover are not the same thing...... and the fact that its called a shamrock does not mean its a rock.

Wee One has made her daddy a very proud man. She has found a new love...... Bagpipes.
Ever since we went to the parade last weekend, whenever she hears the pipes a-callin' she gets so excited its almost laughable. As much as I myself love the bagpipes, I can only hope she never expects to learn them.... at least while she's living at home. While they may make some beautiful tunes when played by a knowing expert, I'm sure that the learning process sounds something like a slaughterhouse accident gone terribly awry.

Looking Back

2006-03-13T11:54:00.000-05:00

5 years ago, I never knew what I was in for.
The Wife (then called "The Fiance") was just over a month away from giving birth. To say that pregnancy was a fun time for the two of us would be greatly stretching the truth. She had bouts of illness and mood swings like a bipolar schizophrenic without medications. I was working for a safety shoe company. I loved my job. In all of my retail career, I'd never had a job like that. I worked practically 9 to 5 daily and had almost every weekend off. (In case you've never worked in retail, that NEVER happens.) My bosses loved me and I never minded going to work any given day. The Wife and I were still trying to decide what it was we were going to do when our bundle of joy arrived. She knew she didn't want to be an at-home mom, so the decision really was whether or not I'd be staying home, and if not, would I stay at my current job or start a new business with my brother. We didn't feel rushed. She had plenty of maternity leave, so we had more than enough time to make up our minds.
Then, we went to her regular weekly appointment with the ob-gyn. He assured us he'd see us by the end of the week. That was early in the afternoon on the 27th. Just a few short hours later, the contractions started and they didn't stop. All that night and into the wee hours of the next morning she worked and pushed and grunted and groaned. Finally, our beloved child made first contact with the outside world. Kicking, screaming and covered in goo...... not much has changed since then.
I had called my boss the night before to tell him that we were going to the hospital. I called him again that morning and shared the news. I had two weeks of family leave and was planning on using every minute of them before returning to work and eventually making our decision on what I'd do.
Those two weeks flew by, but I never made it back to work. To say that The Wife was hit with a bout of post-partum depression would be like saying Ghengis Khan had a slight temper. I was not allowed to leave the house, let alone be out of her sight. If there was anywhere I absolutely HAD to be, the baby was with me. The decision was made then and there. I would not partner with my brother in the world of landscaping nor would I return to the retail world. My fate was sealed, I didn't complain a bit. I loved, and continue to love, every minute or my new career. The only thing is, if I ever have to return to the workforce, I hope they don't check references. I never had a chance to give my two weeks notice.

I've Been Going Through Some Old Photos

2006-03-07T17:09:00.000-05:00

I've discovered a few things in the process....

There was a time my girls got along.

They both can be very cute when they want to be.

There's a reason there aren't many photos of me.

My photographic timing can be pretty good some times. (Take a good look at the business end of the buffalo.)

Trust Me....

2006-03-03T22:01:00.000-05:00

....I have absolutely no fear of this story being stolen.
This was written (dictated to me is a better term) by Big One.
It is, "The Frog Story"...

Once upon a time, the frog and the unicorn met. Soon they had a drink of water and some juicy grass to eat. The frog, of course, ate flies instead. They saw another horse coming, and she was a Pegasus. Pegasuses are very magical. They never knew Pegasus ponies had wings because they'd never seen one before.
Then they saw another one. They were visiting to make new friends. They didn't know how many horses there were. And then, they saw a zebra. Zebras are very special, except when they run around. The zebras are made out of stripes on their back and their face too. They even wear bridles too. They didn't know that because they never tried a bridle on.
"Bridles are for riding," the friends told the two friends. And then they saw a beautiful rainbow. Beautiful rainbows are made out of different colors, except for black. Black is a yucky mud color.
And then, they saw another kind of horse. They saw a unicorn zebra. And then they saw a unicorn Pegasus. They were very happy to see each other. They loved each other so much they couldn't stop.
They knew their names. Even the other horses knew their new friends' names. Because they told them. They used their voices.
In the lake they saw goldfish swimming around. The horses would rather eat some apples, grain and grass. Even though, they saw some grapes laying around on the grass, they thought they were good enough to eat. One of them tried them and said, "Blech". They didn't like them. It felt like their heart was broken, but it wasn't. She tried one without the yucky dirt, and it tasted good. She tried red grapes, purple grapes and green grapes. There were all kinds of colors of grapes.
They saw a beautiful unicorn Pegasus once. And then a wonderful zebra unicorn Pegasus when the other Pegasus came. They saw another horse with sparkly golden hooves. They loved her hooves. It looked beautiful. They said, "It looks beautiful." She said, "Thank you. Its so nice of you to say they're so beautiful."
The zebra asked, "How is the sun?" The hooved horse said, "Its beautiful. The sun is so yellow and shining so bright. Would you like to see my mom? Actually, I take care of myself."
The zebra asked if she would like to see her mom.
"Of course," she said, "all of my friends would like to come along."
Only zebras have moms. Because the other horses take care of themselves. Some horses do, some horses don't.
"We're the ones that came without a mom," the other horses said, "Because we protect ourselves. We'll never need a mom, but we'll always need friends because we were left alone."
There's only one frog and lots of horses. The frog met lots of more frogs in the pond. "But we might be shy of the other frogs, but we're not shy of Bill..... he's our best friend," said the horses. "We only know Bill" "Of course you do, " said Bill, "you'll alway know me."
The unicorn says, "Of course."
There's lots of more creatures around.
The zebra says, "My name is ..... well.... I have to figure out what my name is...... My name is..... The World's Greatest Zebra."
The unicorn says, "My name is Princess."
But soon, the other horses told their names too.
"My name is 'Kenny'," said the unicorn zebra.
The sparkly hooved horse said, "My name is 'Sparkle'."
They all had a great party.

The End.

Watch out Shakespeare.

A Sign From Above

2006-03-01T13:59:00.000-05:00

I was taking Big One to school this morning and passed a church I pass every other morning. Something caught my eye today though.....

Just kidding.... I made it myself at this site
I'm going to hell..... and I've known it for a long time.

Where Have I Been?

2006-03-01T10:30:00.000-05:00

Whew.....
First off, both girls have colds.... again. That, in case you're not familiar, means I spend most of my days wiping up snot, checking temperatures, administering medication, soothing and keeping everyone from screaming so as to not make for sore throats.
Second, we've updated The Girls' bedrooms. Big One actually has a whole new room. She moved to what used to be our designated play room. The best part, I didn't have to paint..... it was already pink (as everything for that child MUST be). Wee One didn't get a new room, but she did get a new bed. She has graduated from the toddler bed to the "big girl" bed. To say she was excited would be an understatement. She wants nothing more than to be just like her big sister, but thankfully, she has her own brand of originality. She is most definitely NOT a pink girl. Her favorite color happens to be orange, so there's no better way to attempt to make her head explode with excitement than to put orange sheets on her new bed. She didn't sleep much that first night..... as if you couldn't guess that already.
Lastly, I've been working on a kids' book. I've been writing stories for The Girls since Big One could tell me what I needed to write about. This one's about Bill the Frog and The Princess of the Forest (she's a unicorn). Of course, they end up being best friends. Some day, I may put them up on here for all to read. For now, I'm still contemplating whether or not to attempt publishing them, so I don't want anyone to "steal" them. (Anyone out there know how to go about copywriting?)

So, that's what I've been up to.
How about you?

Sorry.....

2006-03-01T06:43:00.000-05:00

It has been a busy couple of days. Everyone's been sick.... again.
I'll be back with a real post possibly some time this afternoon.

Ummmm.....

2006-02-24T10:56:00.000-05:00

I take back anything bad I may have said about Canada.
I LOVE CANADA.
Especially my friends in British Columbia. You Western Canadians are the greatest. I love you most of all.
By the way, could any of you have a spare bedroom ready by 2010?

In My Own Defense

2006-02-24T10:12:00.000-05:00

To clarify: I've never felt anyone was "hiding" behind anonymous posting.
I've turned them off simply because I became very tired of having to defend myself on issues that were entirely pointless. Many times in the daycare post I was doing nothing but repeating myself. My anonymous opponents simply were reading what they wanted to see and not what I was writing and continuing an argument that should have died several times over. To be put to the test over a simple recount of a child's birthday party is just silly and childish. I felt I was being bombarded with comments that were entirely pointless on a post that generally meant nothing.
If Arthur, or any other "anonymouses" want to create an account and continue to give me nothing but grief, I can't stop them. What I can do is turn comments off entirely.
I don't write here for debate or argument. I don't write for the comments. If you would consider that nothing but "journaling", then so be it. I write to be read. If you like it, please continue to read. If you don't like it, don't read it. If you agree or disagree, fantastic. You can comment or not..... I don't care either way. But do not bait me into argument, that's not what I'm here for. If I wanted that, I'd start a political blog.... I could ruffle enough feathers that way. I write with other at home dads in mind. I write to give them something to relate to, to connect with. We are not a large percentage of the population and any way we can connect is a good one. Call it a "target demographic" if you will. I'm not here to please everyone.

An Open Letter To Those Posting Anonymously With Apologies To A Few Pleasant Posters

2006-02-22T19:51:00.002-05:00

Get a fucking life people.
I've had enough of the petty bullshit that you are all bringing to MY little slice of the web.
What I post is, as it states under the title of my page, my random rantings. They are not debate points nor cause for arguement.
If you do not agree with me, that is your right. As far as I'm concerned, I'm right and you may or may not be wrong. But I'll be damned if I will continue to allow each and every opinion that leaves my fingers through this keyboard to be picked apart as you see fit.
You have a problem with the way I think? Don't read my blog, better yet, start your own fucking blog. Until then, stay out of my comment box.

To all of those that enjoy what they read here and can actually relate to what I speak of, thank you and I apologize for not doing this sooner.
Anonymous posting is now "Off".

Time To Parrrrrrtay!

2006-02-21T16:30:00.000-05:00

That picture..... it was me this past weekend.
Big One and I went to a birthday party for one of her classmates. It was loads of fun for the kids. There was a juggling act (whose jokes went over most 5 year olds' heads) and enough sugary snacks and cake to drop an elephant with a pituitary disorder. There were plenty of kids for Big One to play with, and plenty of parents (of both sexes) that I should have been able to converse with while my offspring bounced happily off the ceiling in her sugar induced fits.
What could I possibly complain about in this situation?
Well..... most of the moms that were there were the typical "A-list" moms. You know.... the skinny, well dressed, "who DOES your hair?", BMW driving, my child is a prodigy and can do no wrong moms.
Maybe I could find a dad to relate to in the room...... maybe not. Every dad in the place, aside from being the obvious "business" type, is Indian.
I'm the farthest thing from racist, so don't even attempt to draw that card. The problem is, they're all speaking in their native tongue. That makes it sorta hard for me to just jump into any conversations.

So there I am. Standing in a sea of overactive, sugar hyped 5 year olds, queen bee preppie moms, and Hindi speaking businessmen. An absolute alien to this world. What am I to do? I did the only thing I could do..... I hung out with the jugglers.

Tragic

2006-02-18T07:06:00.000-05:00

In 2004, a baby left at a New Castle, Delaware daycare center died while left alone on a queen sized bed in the basement of the facility.
The owner of the facility and her daughter have been sentenced, not to jail time, but to probation. Not because the judge went easy on them, but because his hands were tied by the laws surrounding the case. These laws need to change.
To read The News Journal's story on the sentencing, click here.
To view the baby's mother's website, click here.
Her site contains links to other news stories and accounts of what happened as well as her personal blog.

What's Up Canada?

2006-02-14T14:35:00.000-05:00

Canada's not all bad I suppose. You can't complain about someplace with hockey, curling, decent beer AND socialized healthcare. Although, I still hold some things against them.
I've noticed something weird about our neighbours (spelled that way for their sake) to the north since adding my Frappr map.
For some reason.... and I can't figure out why.... All Canadians that read my blog live underwater.
My best guess..... Canada is Atlantis.

On another note.... did you know Canada is really spelled Cnd? Its just that when you ask a Canadian to spell it, he does it in his native tongue.... C, eh. N, eh. D, eh.

Hey.... Its Snowing.... Whassup Wit Dat?

2006-02-11T15:09:00.000-05:00

I had given up on the idea of snow this winter. Temeratures during January seemed to hover around the 60 degree mark. Finally, the snow is falling.
The Girls and I are keeping busy indoors for now. They'll be satisfied to to stay inside for at least an hour or so..... We've made what Big One has come to call "Gooze".

Its kinda slippery, kinda gooey, not very sticky, it refuses to hold its shape, and its tons of fun.
Its easy to make and can keep for a couple of weeks if you store it in an airtight container (I use gallon size Ziplocs).
How easy you ask?

In one container you'll need:
2 Cups of Elmer's Glue
1 1/2 Cups of very warm water
You can add a few drops of food coloring or glitter to this container if you don't want a plain white end product.

In a second container you'll need:
1 1/3 Cups of very warm water
2 teaspoons of 20 Mule Team Borax Laundry Booster

I mix the glue, water and food coloring in a Ziploc bag. It saves from having to clean a bowl and I get to use the bag for storage when the kids are done playing with the stuff. I just mix the water and Borax together in the measuring cup.

Completely mix the water/glue/coloring together before adding the Borax/water mixture. Add the Borax mixture to the glue mixture in the Ziploc bag and close the bag. Knead the two together until they're completely combined. This can take a few minutes. If there is any leftover liquid, toss it out.
Pop the gooze out of the bag and have all the fun you want.
If it happens to get stuck in your hair or carpet, use white vinegar to clean it up..

If you decide to try this, let me know how it turns out for you.

This Is The LAST Time...... I Swear

2006-02-10T22:05:00.000-05:00

I suppose I have to repeat myself yet again.
It seems some folks either aren't reading everything I'm writing, confusing it with something someone else is writing, or just want to argue.
I'll break it down to the basics for you.....
I AM NOT OPPOSED TO DAYCARE.
I AM NOT OPPOSED TO BOTH PARENTS IN A TWO PARENT HOUSEHOLD WORKING.
I AM OPPOSED TO CHILDREN BEING TREATED LIKE POSSESSIONS BY PARENTS WHO FEEL THEIR CAREERS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR CHILDREN.
I AM OPPOSED TO PARENTS THAT CLAIM THAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO STAY AT HOME TO CARE FOR THEIR CHILDREN BUT REFUSE TO MAKE SACRIFICES TO DO SO.
I FEEL PARENTAL CARE IS BETTER THAN ANY OTHER.... OR AT THE VERY LEAST, IT SHOULD BE.
I FEEL THAT IF YOU HAVE A CHILD, THAT CHILD SHOULD BE YOUR CORE FOCUS. THAT MEANS THAT YOUR CHILD SHOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR JOB.
IF YOU ARE A LOVING, CARING PARENT THAT TAKES THE TIME TO BE WITH YOUR CHILD AND IS WILLING TO SARCIFICE EVEN A SMALL PART OF YOUR CAREER FOR THE CARE OF YOUR CHILD, I APPLAUD YOU.
IF YOU FEEL YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SACRIFICE ANY PART OF YOUR CAREER FOR YOUR CHILD'S SAKE EITHER YOU HAVE A PERFECT JOB OR I FEEL YOU SHOULD REEVALUATE YOU PRIORITIES.
MY GUINEA PIG IS FINE, HE JUST HAS MITES. HIS DIET IS PERFECT AND THERE'S NO FEAR OF SCURVY. I DON'T OPPOSE PAYING FOR HIS TREATMENT, I JUST FEEL GUILTY ABOUT DOING SO.

If that's not clear enough, I don't know what is.

I Promise This Has Nothing To Do With Daycare

2006-02-10T10:45:00.000-05:00

I'm suffering from a bit of a dilemma. I have an ailing guinea pig. The poor thing is losing his hair and I'm not 100% sure as to what the problem might be. There are several possibilities, but without really knowing what the reason is, I can't really treat him myself.
So, what's the dilemma?
Vets aren't cheap, but guinea pigs are. Its not that I don't love the little guy. He's become part of the family, not that I let him run and play with the dogs, or the kids for that matter, but I'm sure you get the idea. I have an appointment with a vet this afternoon. The vet we take the dogs to doesn't know much about guinea pigs, so he's recommended someone else. I found out, even before making the appointment, the visit will cost me a minimum of $42. That's before any sort of medication or treatment, and animal meds aren't exactly covered by my prescription plan. To put it into perspective, Mr. Soft (that's the little guy's name..... not my idea, Big One named him) cost all of $30.
Whatever he has that's making him go bald (and I'm sure its not male pattern baldness) is most likely not a fatal disease. I just need a way to justify spending what I know will end up be near $100 on a $30 pet. I'm willing to do it, I just feel bad doing so. Not nearly as bad as I'd feel if I did nothing though.
Besides.... The Girls would figure it out if suddenly there was an even slightly different looking guinea pig in the cage.

Taking It Out Of The Comment Box Again

2006-02-08T10:37:00.000-05:00

I still disagree with the biological "need" for children. My wife and I had children because we knew I'd be here to care for them and not have to "farm them out". No matter what anyone would argue, there was no NEED to have them. It was still a "want". And that, I feel, is all it is for anyone. I've always loved children and have always been very good with caring for them. I'm generally a nurturing individual. That doesn't mean I or my wife needed a child. Had we not been able to have children we simply wouldn't have had them. There are countless people out there getting help to have children (I am not, by any means, saying this is wrong). Nature has told them they are not supposed to have them, but they think differently. If we are all supposed to need children, why would some not be able to have them? On a whole different side of the spectrum, why would some of us be devoted to same sex relationships? Nature dictates both of these circumstances. I would think this means it is not natural for ALL of us to reproduce. If there were a natural need to reproduce we would be doing it asexually like single cell organisms. Primitive families did not use daycares. When they decided to procreate, they accepted that taking care of baby was what they had to do. If they didn't care for their children themselves, the child died. Bees have it right. The workers, the one's devoted to making the world a better place for their collective, do their job. The breeders reproduce, creating both more workers and more breeders. The workers don't breed and the breeders don't collect the honey. That's nature. If your lot in life is to make the world a better place, so be it. But if that means you can't have time to care for a child don't do it. Kids deserve better. If you're willing and able to make the time to be a good parent, by all means, be my guest, even if that means doing so after work hours.
My case is not against every person that has or wants to have children nor is it against daycares. My case is against those that have or want to have children just for the sake of saying they have them. The ones that have a kid and treat it like a possession more than a child. I feel that if you are not prepared to give the child the best care you can personally give, not just the best you can afford to buy, you should reconsider why you want to have the child.
Daycares are, in many cases, a necessity. I won't dispute that. Many of them could be better though. I, as a non-daycare user, would like to know one thing about those that choose daycares. When it comes time to send your child to one, did you honestly search out the best or did you find the cheapest? If the latter is what you went for, were you truly thinking about your child's well being or simply what you could afford? And if the cost was the option, what then is your child's health and well being worth?

I Hate Reruns

2006-02-07T15:36:00.000-05:00

I was just.... uhhhh..... reading the paper in my, ummmmm, office when I heard a noise come from the hallway.
Big One was in her room, I could still hear her on the monitor. Wee One was supposed to be napping happily.
The noise, I found, was coming from The Girls' bathroom. I opened the door to find this....

Innocent enough? Right?
Wrong.
I walk toward the stairs leading from Wee One's room to the aforementioned bathroom only to find this on the wall...

And waiting for me on the top step.....

I'd like to take this opportunity to personally thank the folks over at Bissell. Not just for making the wonderful Proheat Powersteamer that takes just about anything except the original color out of my carpet, but also for the orange scented cleaning formula that nicely covers just about any smell that was permeating from my staircase.

Yet Another Reason I Do What I Do (apologies to Mary P. and thanks to Rebel Dad)

2006-02-07T13:50:00.000-05:00

I had thought this post was lost, but thanks to Brian over at Rebel Dad it has been recovered.
This article from today's News Journal gives me yet another reminder that what I'm doing is right.
I can only imagine the poor little guy stuck in the dark daycare center with no one around. I'm sure that he kept himself fairly occupied for a little while. Most 3 year olds I've encountered can be pretty good at coming up with things to do. But I'd be just as sure that at some point this kid went looking for someone..... anyone. I know the fear I hear in my girls' voices when they can't find me in the short time I'm allowed to "answer nature's call".
I can't help but use this to argue the point that there is nothing better for a child than parental care. Naturally, I'd also add that it doesn't matter which parent is the caregiver. There is absolutely no one that can care for your child like you can. Even in the best of daycares they'll never match parental love and caring. Don't get me wrong. Daycare workers can and do take very good care of the kids left in their care most of the time. I'm just stating, and I doubt anyone would argue, that it just doesn't compare. I also realize this article is about a random accident. This isn't something I imagine goes on day by day in every daycare around the world.
I won't knock daycares completely. For many and most, they are perceived as an absolute necessity. We live in a dual income society, and that means most of us are going to leave our kids in someone else's care for the majority of our days. There are alot of folks out there that use them that don't really have to though. When The Wife and I started our little clan we sat down and thought about the money issues involved. When we realized that most of my earnings would be spent on childcare (especially with two kids), aside from the money spent on gas, lunches and general expenses most take for granted in the working world, we're practically saving money by my not going to the office every day. The other thing that many don't want to think about is simple sacrifices. If you take a look at many that argue they NEED two incomes I'm sure you'd see some corners that can be cut. Sure, that 5 bedroom house is nice, but how often do you see that extra bedroom at the end of the hall? Yeah, that Hummer can go through 3 feet of snow or traverse a river without a problem. Seems a shame to keep it cooped up in that garage waiting for the next run to the grocery store to buy your bottled water.
Now, don't get me wrong. Not everyone that says they need two incomes is in the situation I've stated. I know first hand how hard it can be to scrape by paycheck to paycheck. I know what its like to earn slightly over minimum wage. I've flipped enough pizzas, bussed enough tables and sold enough shoes to know. I've also taken enough time in my life to know that while I was flipping, bussing and selling I couldn't afford a child, in daycare or not.

Sorry

2006-02-07T10:23:00.000-05:00

I had a few bugs over the weekend.
I had posted something the other day spewing on and on about daycares and somehow the whole thing got lost. I'm not exactly sure what happened, so this time I'll chalk it up to operator error.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to recover the post, and honestly, I'm too damned lazy to type the whole thing out again.
I'll be back to real posting later this afternoon. Just wanted to let y'all know I'm not self censoring or anything and I just had too busy of a weekend to take care of it any sooner.

Thanks to all for the birthday wishes, too.

I'm Having Visions Of The Future

2006-02-01T14:26:00.000-05:00

UGH!
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Regrets.... I've Had A Few. But Then Again, Too Few To Mention

2006-01-31T10:58:00.000-05:00

I'm turning 35 this weekend. Its not really a big deal to me. We all get older, its a simple fact of nature. One thing about it is Big One turns 5 in two months. I can still remember things from when I was 5. Not "clear as a bell" memories, but they're still there. That makes it kinda weird for me.
The other day, The Wife asked me if I'd do anything different if I could do it all again. And, of course, that got me to thinkin'... Would I?
My early years weren't particularly unpleasant. The things I may like to have seen done differently were so far out of my control there'd be little sense in even thinking I could do them differently.
The teen/high school years.... There might be a few things I'd do different. As most would probably say, I'd pay more attention to school work, concentrated on my studies, that sort of thing. I probably would spend more time on extra curricular activities as well. I'd play more sports, maybe take up an instrument. My main activity in high school was drama, and I wasn't very good at it. I played sports, but mostly did so outside of school. At that point, my main sport was cycling, and at that time, America wasn't exactly ready for grown men peddling around in spandex. While it may not have been as socially acceptable, I'd probably devote a lot more time to the bike. You never know... I could have been the guy winning in France 7 times. One major thing I'd never do again came in the end of my teen years. I enlisted with the Marine Corps. My stepfather was a Marine, my uncle was a Marine, it seemed like the thing to do. Somewhere between Delaware and Parris Island, South Carolina, I changed my mind. It took me the next three months, a short term in a brig and an admission of (false) suicidal tendencies. Yeah.... I lied to get out of serving my country.
My twenties had plenty of fun, but not a lot I wouldn't do again. I spent a little over a year on the road following the Grateful Dead. I'd like to say I enjoyed it, but to be honest, I can't remember most of it. Are drugs bad? As far as my kids are concerned, yup. Did I partake of such substances? You bet. Am I a hypocrite? Absolutely. I had my fun. I made it out alive. I know some that didn't. I know some that got out without all of the faculties they went in with. They're dangerous, they're illegal. I quit cold turkey one August afternoon and never went back. Would I do it again???? Under the same circumstances... its a definite "probably".
By the end of my twenties, I'd replaced drugs with their liquid, legal counterpart. Too many hangovers, too many times waking up in strange places and far too many barroom hookups. There's a few things I'd do differently there.
I settled down a bit in my thirties. I've gotten married. I've fathered two beautiful girls. I've got my dream job. I'm a mostly responsible, sometimes reasonable adult, finally. I can safely say there's nothing in the past five years I'd change if my life depended on it.

20 Years

2006-01-28T07:16:00.000-05:00

It seems like a very long time, but then again, its been burned on my memory so deeply that I can still hear the voices.
I've always.... always.... been a devout follower of the space program. Maybe its because I'm a huge Ed Harris fan (he seems to be in every single movie about the Apollo program). Maybe its because I was born on the same day Apollo 14 landed on the moon. Either way, there have been very few televised launches I've missed or movies I haven't seen. The only thing I have left to do is visit a launch in person.
20 years ago, I was a freshman in high school. I played sick one January morning just so I could stay home to watch the Space Shuttle Challenger launch. Those were days when the shuttle missions were a still a huge deal. This was the 25th shuttle launch, but no less exciting than any of the previous 24. The fact that a teacher, like the ones I was around every day, would be on this mission made it seem all that more exciting. I remember writing a letter to Dick Scobee (the Mission Commander) and Christa McAullife a few months before the launch and being so excited to receive form letter in return, encouraging me to do well in my school work so I, one day, could be a mission specialist too.
I was fixed on the television that morning like a moth on a flame. I can remember holding my breath as the countdown hit zero and the rockets fired. I watched the long trail of exhaust reach into the sky, waiting to see them break the bonds of Earth. They called for separation of the boosters, and then it happened. At first, it seemed somewhat surreal. Maybe the cloud of smoke was just from the explosion of the separation. But then, the shuttle was gone. It was nowhere to be seen. I sat, for what seemed like forever. The idea just slowly soaked in. I ran to tell my mother what had happened and we both watched in disbelief. I can't remember if I cried when I finally figured out what it was I'd seen. But I do remember a completely empty feeling, a sense of helplessness and disbelief.
I've never forgotten that day, and it has never diminished my love for the space program. I still have the young boy's dream of being an astronaut, and I've never stopped gazing at the stars and wondering what it would be like up there.
That's the lesson I took from January 28th, 1986. No matter what, don't accept setbacks. Never let anything, no matter how tragic, get in the way of your dreams.

A Brief Introduction

2006-01-24T10:42:00.000-05:00

Everyone, meet Samson...

Samson.... Everyone.

This little guy joined our family last night. He's a Puggle. Half Pug, half Beagle. According to my vet, he's got the better traits of the two. So far, everyone's getting along. Kacie, my 6 year old Norwegian Elkhound, is slowly getting used to him. She's already letting him know who the boss is around here and he's slowly getting the message.
The Girls absolutely love him, but naturally get a little scared of the puppy bites. They'll get over it about the same time he stops doing it.

Yet Another New Store

2006-01-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

Click here and help save the At Home Dad Convention

Another New Gadget

2006-01-21T13:32:00.000-05:00

I decided to try some video posting.
Found a service that's fairly simple and then dug up this old clip of Big One trying out her new Sit and Spin. This was sometime around her second birthday. That thing on her head???? that would be her bathing suit. She decided to put it on herself. That would be a leg hole her face is poking through.
Yet something else I'll be hated for later in life.

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Ooops. Excuse Me, I Just Frappred

2006-01-21T10:48:00.000-05:00

These things are kinda cool. You can stick a virtual pin in the map, and I get to see where everyone is from. You can even switch it to satellite view and zoom in on your own house. If you edit it in just the right way, you can even pinpoint your own house (which I've done..... the pool is next door.... sorry).
What are you waiting for..... stick yourself on my map. Just click on the the link under the map to the right and it'll take you there.
I wanna see where you live.
(Ya never know, someday there could be a knock at the door and some strange looking large man in shorts asking for a sandwich.)

My Comments Box Is Filling Up

2006-01-20T13:48:00.000-05:00

So I figured I'd try to clear some air out here.
First off, I've said before that I don't want to be put on a pedestal for what I do. Basically, because what I do is no different than any mother that chooses to do the same. The thing is though, as at home dads, we are different. We don't fit in as well with the working guys (they'll bitch about their jobs, we'll rave about our kids) and we don't fit in with at home moms..... because we're guys. No matter what anyone says or does, that's not going to change any time soon. Women will always look at us differently. They may let us into their clubs and greet us a cheerful welcome. But when it comes down to brass tacks, most of them aren't going to be inviting us out for latte's. We're not trying to be exclusionary or claiming to be "special". But until people stop asking "so, when are you planning on going back to work" or ignoring us (or worse yet, corralling their children away from us) on the playground, we will be different. Ask yourself, honestly, how you'd feel if you came home from work early one day and found a guy sitting on your sofa swapping diaper stories and sipping coffee with your wife before you claim to think we're the same as any mom.
As for the convention..... hey.... I'll be honest, alot of it is simply "guy's weekend", but when we're physically at the convention (and I'll call it that because the guys that founded it chose to) we're doing things that relate specifically to being a better dad. We covered things this year such as how to handle image concerns with young girls (not something your dad takes the time to explain to you when you're tossing around the pigskin as a teenager), how and what to do when your child starts school full time (its not always the "just go back to work" answer most would expect) and how to inject creativity into your parenting (and trust me, we do it alot differently than most moms I know). Its not just a weekend of beer swilling, trash talking and pelvic scratching.
And, as for my dads' group.... We are not and never claim to be the same as some moms' groups. We don't have a national network, we don't have a leadership board and we sure as hell don't have by-laws. We're not part of this group to better the community or raise money for a cause du jour. We do what we do entirely for our kids. We have playgroups, we do field trips. If we want to contribute to a cause we see fit, we do so individually..... and most of us do. Sure, we have an occasional Dads' Night Out, but hey.... who doesn't need some time off?

Now you boys play nice or so help me, I'll pull this blog over and come back there and put an end to it myself.
As it stands, you're all due for a "time out".

Raising The Phoenix From The Ashes

2006-01-18T19:17:00.000-05:00

I plan on devoting alot of time and energy to bringing the At Home Dads' Convention back to life.
There's already some activity over at the Rebeldad Convention Wiki. A few guys have some good ideas and are ready to roll.
Some help is in order though. I know alot of the other dads that read my blog haven't been to the convention in the past. What I'd like to know is, why?
If we could come up with reasons guys stayed away, maybe we could come up with some reasons guys would want to come.
So fellas, what was it? Time? Location? Price? Didn't even know it existed?
Any and all input would be greatly appreciated.

My idea for the whole thing is to actually split the convention into two locations. One for us on the east coast, one for the guys out west.
Chicago was a decent location, and central as far as the nation goes. I do know though that many guys didn't go just because they didn't want to have to travel all the way there. Understandable for guys from California and the New England states, it makes for that much more of an expense and travel time. What's the take on this idea fellas? New Englanders..... if it were in say.... Atlantic City, Philadelphia or D.C. would you be interested? West Side.... would you be up for a San Francisco, Seattle or Vegas trip?
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to hang in Vegas for a few days with my buds. Convincing The Wife its a good idea would be a completely different story. I had a hard enough time getting permission to go to Chicago. Not to mention the added expense on top of travel and the convention itself..... c'mon.... I'm not going to Vegas and not dropping a car payment on the blackjack tables.

So, speak up guys. Leave a comment or two here or head over to Rebeldad's Wiki and drop a few ideas on us.

The At Home Dads' Convention Is Done

2006-01-17T13:36:00.000-05:00

I'd heard whisprerings lately, but hoped in my heart it wasn't going to happen.
But then I opened my email to find this from Peter Baylies of the At Home Dad Network:

After a ten year reign Bob Frank's At-Home Dad Convention has come to
an end.

It all started 11 years ago with a phone call from Bob pitching the
idea and offering Oakton College as a venue. Using the mailing list
of the (Hardcopy) At-Home Dad Newsletter we got a 50 plus crowd to
attend the first convention,.

Even though it lost money for the College, the publicity was
nationwide and gave hope to the at-home dads across the country. Bob
and I had talked of ending it last year at the ninth convention. We
hadn't changed a diaper in years, and although we still felt we were
doing our daddy duties when the kids come home, we were going though
very different experiences then the rookie dads that were coming to
the convention. We knew was time to move on, but it was hard to let
go, so we went on another year.

Barry Reszel who had done a fabulous job putting together the
programs also felt it was time to move on and announced that he was
stepping down as the coordinator last year. With the core founders
moving on it was inevitable that this would come to a close.

- Pete

I'd like to share the following comments Barry sent out in a e-mail
sent out today.

With sadness I write to tell you the 10th Annual At-Home Dads'
Convention this past November was the last-at least in the format and
at the location we have come to associate with this event.

Though Brian Chalmers stepped forward to volunteer as lead convention
coordinator (and for that, I express sincere gratitude), Dr. Bob
Frank and Oakton Community College have decided not to host the event
going forward. The summary reason is that it's been a great 10-year
run, but Bob is looking to do other things and the college is
pursuing new programming strategies. We as a community would be
remiss if we didn't thank Bob for his time and dedication and Oakton
for its facilities, staff, and financial support. I am a richer man
and better at-home dad because of my affiliation with the convention;
I'm proud to say I have been to all 10.

Over the years, the convention coordinators have adapted formats,
changed styles, and worked to, first, forge and nurture the at-home-
dads' community and, second, to enlighten those in attendance with
information, exercises, discussions, and stories. Sometimes the
sessions/presentations were great; sometimes they weren't, but all-in-
all, I'd have to say the gatherings achieved their aims.

To those who have called for the convention to be held at alternative
places and times or with a different format, perhaps this is the
impetus you need to step to this community's forefront and achieve
your vision.

In closing, I simply want to reiterate a thought I shared at this
year's convention. I believe the legacies we leave will determine how
well we have lived. When I gather with a group of at-home dads, I
somehow know I am in the midst of men who believe that, too, and live
that belief by dedicating themselves to their greatest legacy-their
children. For that, we are all heroes in my book.

Best,

Barry Reszel

I'd like to personally thank Peter for passing on the news. I'd also like to thank Dr. Frank and Barry Reszel for keeping it going as long as they did.
This past year, the last for the convention as we knew it, was my first year attending. I had a fantastic time and would love to see this continued.
So, Brian Chalmers.... or whoever wants to take on this huge task of helping this phoenix rise again..... you can count on me for help in whatever capacity I'm capable of.

Uuuuugggggggghhhhhhhh

2006-01-15T13:33:00.000-05:00

I've discovered one very important thing this morning.
Actually, discovered is the wrong word..... its really something I've known before. I suppose I was reminded.....
Taking care of two kids that are sick while you're sick is not easy.
Taking care of two kids that are NOT sick while you're sick is like driving a dull pointed railroad spike through your nasal cavity with a toy hammer.

Enough Is Enough

2006-01-13T21:37:00.000-05:00

The Girls have both been sick, on and off, for the past 3 weeks. Finally, its hit The Wife and I. Sore thoats, achey muscles, coughing, sniffles..... general pain in the ass.
Obviously, this isn't the first time we've all been sick together, but its really starting to pluck my nerves.
Gone are the days of calling in sick. Gone are the days of co-workers taking sympathy on me and cutting me some slack. Gone are the days of curling up under the blankets and sipping 7-up all day.
I won't complain..... I still love the life I've chosen. But man, could I use a break. If I'm not coughing up my own lung, I'm tucking someone else's back into their chest. If I'm not sniffing myself, I'm cleaning up a ball of snot the size of Cleveland off someone else's upper lip. And sleep..... forget it. No sense in overdosing on NyQuil, I'll just be jostled awake by someone else's coughs and wheezes and pathetic cries.
I've taken to sleeping on the couch. For one, it frees me from the convulsive fits of coughing fury going on next to me that The Wife amazingly sleeps through. Above all, it puts me right in the middle of all the mid-night action. I have ready access to the kitchen (where all the drugs and sippy cups are at the ready) and The Girls' bedrooms. I can handle any sleep depriving, ear shattering, earth moving, spastic phlegm attack that dare violate my unrested ears.
So, Cold and Flu...... You think you're tough......
You ain't seen tough til you've met a man on the edge.

And I'm on that edge.

Brad And Angelina, Sitting In A Tree....

2006-01-12T14:22:00.000-05:00

Two of the world's "beautiful people" are going to have a baby together....
I took the liberty of doing a little genetic research to find out what the new bundle of joy may turn out to be.
Congratulations Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie....

I'm Sure She Got What She Deserved

2006-01-10T19:07:00.000-05:00

Either Barbie was a verrrrrry bad girl, or I'm raising some sick little S&M mistresses.
I'm hoping its the former more than the latter.

Don't Let The Penis Fool You

2006-01-07T10:35:00.000-05:00

After my dads group's latest news article it has come to my attention that many people out there don't realize how some of us at home dads are perceived in public.
Most people I come in contact with think its a great thing that I take care of my kids on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I can't say I've personally had anyone not think what I do is awesome.
There aren't many times that I'm out with The Girls that I don't have to explain, in some way or another, our situation though. Most of the time its met with one of those "Oh, how sweet" looks. Sometimes its an "Oh really?" tilt of the head.
The thing is, I'm getting a little tired of it.
Not the job..... this is one I'll never quit.
What I'm seriously tiring of is the gratuitous looks and nods. Granted, I know I'm not particularly "mainstream" in my career path. But you don't see this reaction when a mom tells someone she stays home. I know that behind that kindly look is someone thinking "A man? Staying home with the kids?".
I know I'm not going to change the public perception of men in child rearing. At least not as a whole. Some have admitted to me they never thought a guy could do this until they met me. However much I'd like to say that's encouraging, I can't. There's no need for me to be thought of as an exception to the rule. I'm no different than any other guy out there. I've got the same parts, as far as I know...... I try not to look in the gym locker room.
We're not really wired any differently. Any man can do what I do. It doesn't take special training or any real skill. I'm a parent. I love my kids. That's nature, not training.
I don't want to get caught up in some at home vs. working parent war. I don't want to be put on record as saying what I do is more important than the 9 to 5 grind. I don't want to be put on a pedestal for what I've chosen to do with my life either. What I do want is for people to stop thinking its out of the norm. While we (at home dads) are far from a majority in any circle we are growing in numbers every year.
I guess what I really want (for probably the first time in my life) is to blend in. I don't want to stick out because I happen to be the only guy playing with my kids in the park on a Tuesday morning. (Sticking out for being the only one in shorts in January is another story.)
So, to you my readers I have one request...... Go..... Spread the word.
We are not freaks. We're not weird or different. We're just parents. We love our kids and choose to take care of them ourselves instead of working for a paycheck, like any mom that chooses to do the same.

Sssssshhhhhh.......

2006-01-04T11:24:00.000-05:00

I just happened to read a comment over on Rebeldad.com from the woman known as Rebel Mom.
She was wishing him a happy birthday.
Aside from finding that a sweet gesture, I also realized he said nothing of it.
Don't tell him I posted this......
Right now..... sneak over and pop a Happy Birthday Rebel Dad in his comment box.
Sssssshhhhhhhhh.

When It Comes Time For THAT Talk....

2006-01-03T18:19:00.000-05:00

I dread the look on the faces of my children when I have to tell them how they were conceived.
Maybe I could just show them this.
If all else fails, I could always take the same route my mother took. Obviously, I learned something.

My Clock Has Wings

2006-01-03T10:48:00.000-05:00

Time is flying. I cannot believe its already 2006. This is the year I turn 35. The year my babies turn 5 and 3. The year my dog turns 6. (I would tell you how old The Wife is going to be, but I'd like to keep my testicles a little longer.) The year I hit the lottery and the Mets win the World Series. Hey..... A guy's gotta dream.
My kids really are what amazes me most. Big One is really becoming a "Big One". She's a real kid now. Not some bumbling toddler wandering through the paces of life. At times, she almost seems like a teenager already. This morning I had to wake her for her first day back to school after vacation. Would you believe this 4 year old threw the pillow over her head and said "5 more minutes Daddy"?
Just looking at her tells me how much older she's getting. No longer do I see the pudgy little appendages, the tiny fingers that wrapped around mine while she struggled to keep up. There's a real hand there. And real feet at the bottom. Even her hair has taken on the look and feel of a kid more so than the baby I've known for so long.
Wee One's coming along as well. She's advanced alot quicker than Big One at her age. I attribute that to her having Big One to guide her. Her skills at imaginative play are remarkable. She'll play with dolls or ponies or whatever she gets her hands on and makes up some really fascinating stories. Granted, I get a little concerned when her playthings "die", but I know she's merely imitating and doesn't really grasp what she's done to the poor Barbie. Especially when Barbie herself is proclaiming "I'm dead..... Someone save me!"
We were considering starting Wee One in the 3 year old program at Big One's school. My first thought was that she would be better adjusted when the time came for her to start "real" school. We've since decided against it. Partly because we feel she'll be just fine when the time comes, but mostly out of greed on my part. Wee One and I have never had alot of time alone together. Even this year with Big One in school we only have a couple of hours a day. Next year, Big One will be in a full day program. Aside from letting me get a few more things done around the house, that will give Wee One and I the time together we've never had. Big One and I had plenty of together time before her sister came along. After that, it was all shared. Wee One has never known anything except shared time. Even while Big One's at school, most of the time in between is spent waiting to go pick her up again. I'm really looking forward to our "alone" time. Wee One really is a great kid (not that Big One isn't). I can't wait to show her that much more of the world and watch her take it all in.
So, all of you newer parents out there take warning. I've hear countless times to treasure this time. That its gone before you really have a chance to enjoy it. Part of that is true. I take every chance I get to really enjoy this time. I cherish it and always will. But it does have a way of flying by.

Obligatory Post For Today

2005-12-31T10:53:00.000-05:00

Well folks, its that time of year. Time to fold up the old and stash it away and open up the new, spread it out and hope for the best.
All in all, this was a good year. A fair amount of high notes and very few low ones.
Here, my dear readers, I present to you My Highs and Lows of 2005:

Highs:
Big One started preschool. It was rough going at first, but we both adjusted nicely.
I got to spend more time with Wee One. Thanks to Big One starting preschool.
My local Dad's group virtually exploded. A huge, front page write up in the local paper and suddenly, within 3 days we have 5 new members.
I attended the At Home Dads' Convention in Chicago. Being around all those other guys that are doing the same thing I am, day in and day out, gave me a renewed vigor for my chosen life.
Big One finally told Wee One she loves her. From the day we brought Wee One home from the hospital, Big One protested and swore she didn't love her. We figured she was bluffing...... we were right.
Big One developed a love of football. Attending nearly every home game of her school's varsity high school team had alot to do with it. I'm sure our being there had something to do with them winning the state championship as well.
Lance won his 7th straight Tour de France and decided to retire on top of his game..... too many guys play past their prime.
I got my diabetes under control. With persistant workouts and (somewhat) watching what I eat I've been medication free for 6 months now.
I started writing this blog. It still amazes me how many people stop by to see what some guy spending his days hanging out with two little girls is doing. Thanks.

Lows:
I missed the Polar Bear Plunge last February. It was the first I've missed in 5 years. I only a slight case of the flu and a temperature of 102, I can't understand why The Wife didn't want me jumping in 35 degree ocean water.
I put on a few pounds I'd rather see gone for good. Even with working out, they crept up on me.
I had a few too many disagreements with my Mother In Law. Nothing Earth shattering though.
The Poop Story

It really was a good year. I'm looking forward to more of the same in 2006 (without some of the lows).

Here's wishing you and yours the best for the coming year.
As much as I hate being one of "those guys".....
See You Next Year.

Check Us Out....

2005-12-29T07:55:00.000-05:00

My little dad's group made the front page of Delaware's primary news source.

Nothing More To Say.....

2005-12-29T00:18:00.000-05:00

Traitor.
I watched this guy go from our local Class A minor league team to the World Champs in Boston. Now he's gonna turn tide, shave, get a haircut and call himself a Yankee?
Money Talks.

Generational Gap

2005-12-28T23:37:00.000-05:00

Actually, Generational Chasm may be a better title.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I love my mother in law. The only addition I'd make to that statement would be "in small portions".
She lives in Connecticut, we're in Delaware. So, needless to say, she doesn't get down here very often. Birthdays, holidays... you get the idea. The problem seems to be that no matter how long she stays, it seems to be one day too long.
Case in point: We had a lovely Christmas. The girls got everything their little hearts could have ever hoped for. Including a visit from Grammy. The Wife works retail, so this time of year she's at the mall more than she is at home. Therefore, I'm left to care for two children and a nearly octogenarian. Its difficult to say who needs more entertaining.
I lived with my grandfather for several years before he passed on. I'm fairly used to the way that generation acts. But after a while..... it gets a bit old (pardon the pun).
My mother in law is obsessed with food, and each meal must be planned and scheduled. If I can't tell her what the plan for dinner is by 9 a.m., her granny panties get all in a bunch. Did I mention that dinner is at 4 p.m.? She can't eat any later than that or she's up all night. I'm lucky if I eat dinner myself before 9 some nights.
But, the big shocker came the night before she was supposed to leave (one day too long). The Girls and I were peacefully playing Bingo and she leans to me and asks.....in a just kinda off the top of her head sorta way...... "Why did you make Big One a bastard?" Naturally, I took a bit of offense.
Back story..... The Wife and I had been engaged for a while before she even became pregnant. We both had really busy schedules and didn't really have the time to plan a wedding. We did however plan on having a baby. And, we succeeded. A few months later, we went to the Justice Of The Peace and made our union legal. Now, my name is on Big Ones birth certificate, and she's always carried my last name. So, I'm not even sure if she would technically be considered a bastard child. Obviously, to some she is.
M.I.L. feels that we've done our beloved child a severe disservice and she'll be looked down upon by superiors and peers alike for the rest of her life. Try as I might, I could not convince this woman that bore my loving wife that my child is lucky by some standards that her parents are married at all. Many people in this day and age aren't even bothering with the legal unions. Big One has two very loving and caring parents that wanted and planned for her birth. She has always and without a doubt been my child..... she is as far from fatherless as they come.
One thing I learned from the years I spent with my grandfather was not to argue. No matter how wrong the folks of that generation are, they're always right. After all, they survived The Great Depression and World War II, they must know more about the ways of the modern world than we do. All we do is play video games and raise illegitimate children..... Heathens that we are.
I won't even get into what she thinks of my wearing shorts year round.

2005-12-22T11:31:00.000-05:00

Didjaeverwonder....

2005-12-21T11:02:00.000-05:00

.... what a ruggedly handsome, stay at home dad blogger from Bear, Delaware looks like when packed on a bus with too many other at home dads in downtown Chicago?
Check out Rebeldad's new videos in his final convention post of the year.

Sunday Morning Ranting

2005-12-18T11:18:00.000-05:00

I have a serious problem with who think having 15, 16 or 17 children is a gift from God.
An Immaculate Conception would be a "gift from God".
Having 17 kids just means you can't keep it in your pants.
I understand there are some out there that need a little extra help to get by. Welfare, W.I.C., Church missions.... all can be put to good use.
Having to rely on donations because you have 17 children and your a security guard/maintenance man is just irresposible.
I don't doubt the kids are cared for and happy. Children can be pretty flexible. But, honestly, folks like those in this article and these folks seem to equate "having" kids to "raising" them. They're two completey different things. When you're counting on your older kids to take care of your younger ones, someone's missing out on something.
I may ONLY have 2 kids, but you can be sure that my wife and I are the only ones taking complete resposiblity for them.

My rant is done.

Tag, I'm It

2005-12-18T10:43:00.000-05:00

Chip tagged me with this one.
5 weird things my kids do.

1. Wee One will eat Reddi Whip out of the can, but not on ice cream.

2. Big One will not wear anything other than stretch pants or leggings. Jeans are an absolute NO. But, coming from a dad who wears shorts year round and only wears long pants when ABSOLUTELY necessary, that's not so bad.

3. Wee One loves to take a bath. She'd spend days in the tub if allowed. She will not, however, swim. No pools, No ocean. She won't even jump through the sprinkler or allow rain to fall on her.

4. The only way Big One will eat pancakes is with ketchup.

5. Wee One will wander the house for hours clutching a security baby wipe. Yup, not a blanket or teddy or doll..... a baby wipe. At least its a new, unused one.

All in all, nothing too outrageous. Comparatively, and in the grand scheme of things, I suppose they're fairly normal.

New Audio Posting

2005-12-18T09:13:00.000-05:00

I'm In The Mood To Share

2005-12-17T20:33:00.000-05:00

I just spent (read: wasted) half an hour playing this.

Simple gameplay..... click the mouse once, the penguin falls. Click it again to hit it.
I've gotten as far as 316.6 ft.
Beat That.

**UPDATE** Make that 323.3 ft.

Hot, Cold - North, South - Democrat, Republican - Big One, Wee One

2005-12-16T19:14:00.000-05:00

Finally, my two kids are starting to get along.
Starting is the key word.
They can play together peacefully for about 15 minutes, then it turns to an eye gouging, hair pulling, kidney punching, drag out free for all.
O.K. Maybe it doesn't get that bad, but 15 minutes is about their limit.
The two have always been polar opposites. There couldn't be two more different kids. Examples:
Big One didn't sleep a whole night through until she was almost 2.
Wee One slept through after being home one week.
Big One spent most of her infancy crying and vomiting.
Wee One rarely cried and I honestly can't recall her vomiting at all (spit up is a different story.... I'm talking fire hose type vomit)
Big One's always been a picky eater.
Until recently, Wee One would eat anything that wasn't Crazy Glued to the floor.
Big One's a Dora fan.
Wee One's allegiance is to Blue's Clues.
Big One sleeps on top of her blankets, tossing and turning all night.
Wee One stays tucked in and barely moves all night.
You couldn't pay Big One to come peacefully to the grocery store.
There are days I take Wee One grocery shopping just because she asks to go.
That's just a few examples. I'm sure you get the idea.
While I'm glad they're getting along better, I hope they stay at odds at least a little.
Variety is the spice of life they say.

A Hoarse Is A Hoarse, Of Coarse Of Coarse

2005-12-14T15:35:00.000-05:00

So Big One's finishing up a cold. She's been toughing it out since the past weekend. She's not doing too bad though. A little stuffy nose, a little achy, and oh yeah..... she sounds like Danny DeVito trying to swallow a brillo pad when she talks.
O.K. Maybe not that bad. More like Kathleen Turner sucking a sandpaper lollipop.
Alright.... she's just a little horse.
I mean, a little hoarse.
So anyway......
She's craving one thing and one thing only...... a glass of milk.
Now, I'm not the type to deprive my child of her daily serving of calcium, but we have one major thing to consider here.
You see, milk tends to make by child a bit phlegmy especially when she's got a cold. It happens to me as well and I'm sure it happens to plenty of others. My darling offspring also has a very delicate gag reflex. Delicate to the point she can't brush her tongue during our nightly adventures in oral hygiene without coming close to losing dinner. Add those two together and you get one nasty situation on your hands (and rug and furniture and drapery and dog and clothes).
Yesterday, she was playing with her toy horses as she does every day and tried to make her signature "neigh" sound. Its slightly lower in pitch than a dog whistle. Just low enough for human ears to detect but high enough to nearly make them bleed. We need to replace all the windows in the house when she's having a particularly good time with her horses.
Well, when you add the aforementioned cold, the "neigh" just don't work. My ears are starting to heal nicely thank you.
I can not get this poor child to understand that if I give her a glass of milk, she will lose all contents of her interior in record time. I finally put my foot down after being asked for the 1,236,321,567th time today.
"You can't have milk until you can neigh."
Now, I'm finding the only thing worse than the fallout siren she likes to call a neigh is the sound of Bea Arthur attempting it while gargling battery acid, which I now hear like a chime on every hour.

Remodeling

2005-12-12T13:13:00.000-05:00

I've thrown a new coat of virtual paint on the walls around here.

I was having some problems of the html code variety and got myself in over my head.
I ended up having to replace everything and start almost all over. Fortunately, all old posts and comments seem to have been saved and my links are back in place.

Sorry if anyone couldn't get through the past few days.

Oh, and Haloscan is gone.... I'm back to Blogger Comments.

Thanks.
Jeff

Don't F@&% With My Crew

2005-12-11T08:49:00.000-05:00

For something around 80 years, the Hundred Acre Crew has rolled through this hood.
P-Bear, he's been large and in charge. He gets all the hunnys
Little P, he's a follower, but he's got brains.
T-Dub G-R, he's crazy.
R-Bit, he's always workin'
Izowl, he thinks he's the brains of the operation, but Little P knows what's up.
K-Momma and Baby Roodawg, the tag team thunder from down under.
Big E, he's always in a mood, but that's cool.
C.Rob, he's in and out, but always around when you need him.
Now, some fool wants to throw some 6 year old girl in with the crew.

Don't get me wrong. As a dad of two girls, I feel the world could use more positive, gender role breaking female role models for the younger set. But, honestly, has anyone ever thought Christopher Robin to be a stereotypical male? As far as I've perceived, he's about as asexual as they come. The fact that the stories are depicting a boy playing with his dolls is evidence enough of that.
C'mon Disney. If you want to create a character to reach my girls, or any girl for that matter, and provide a positive role model for emerging young women, please, be my guest. But don't.... don't.... mess with the Hundred Acre Wood. Its been standing for this long on its own. It doesn't need "freshening up" or tinkering.
If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

R.I.P. Richard

2005-12-10T20:28:00.000-05:00

Maybe not the role model I'd have my kids look up to, but a damned funny man none the less.
Thanks for the laughs Mr. Pryor.

Nobody Knows Me Like My Baby

2005-12-08T23:08:00.000-05:00

Big One's school has their annual "Santa Shop" for the kids this week. Its a chance for the little ones to do a little holiday shopping on their own for their family and friends. Big One was quite excited. She normally gets to shop with Mommy, but this was something new...... a solo adventure into the wilds of retaildom.
She was so excited with her purchases, the gifts could not wait until Christmas. I was told I had to open mine first. She seemed quite hyped about it, so I couldn't let her down. Not knowing what to expect I opened my eyes on cue and unwrapped the most beautiful gift I've ever received.
A back scratcher.
Wait.......
Before you go gushing about how cute or (how dare you) how silly a gift that is, you must realize one thing.....
There is nothing My Baby's Daddy loves more than a good back scratching. And obviously, she knows this.
She's used our old worn out back scratcher on me for as long as I can remember. And now here, my darling child put enough thought into the whole process to figure the one thing her Daddy would need most amongst the sea of products displayed for her would be this.
Sure, Mommy got a shiny necklace and Wee One got a cool new ball..... but this..... this seemingly innocent piece of curved wood will certainly be the most cherished gift I receive this year.

P.S. Since this was a pre-holiday gift, don't expect me to call this "Christmas Joy" ........ humbug

Just A Little Social Commentary

2005-12-07T14:52:00.000-05:00

Kids have been in the news a lot the past few days around here.
There's the story about the restaurant in Chicago that doesn't want unruly children to the Institute of Medicine saying Spongebob is responsible for kids being hooked on junk food.
While part of me agrees with both of these examples, another part gets pretty annoyed.
Example: This place in Chicago... As the owner of the restaurant, I feel the guy has the right to withhold service to any individual he sees fit. Sure, if you withhold on too many, you're getting a call from the A.C.L.U. or declaring your place a "private club". On the other hand, here's a guy with no kids of his own passing judgment on how kids should behave. Honestly, if you've never tried keeping two kids occupied while waiting for your appetizers without someone getting a little out of hand, you have absolutely NO idea how much work you're talking about.
Don't get me wrong. Kids don't need to be running around like screaming banshees when out for lunch. But exactly what is expected? What is truly unruly? I admit, my kids are far from angelic, but should I be refused service because my four year old is bored after waiting 15 minutes for her chicken fingers? I don't mind not taking my kids where I feel they don't fit in. So, honestly, if you don't want kids around, cater to the crowd you DO want. Put out the "real" napkins, don't put lids on the drinks, take mac and cheese off the menu. Eventually, we parents will get the hint.
As for the second example... No matter how tired I may be of seeing Nicktoons or Barbie or any other animated character plastered everywhere I look, does it really matter whose face is on the Happy Meal box? No. Kids are going to want to eat the junk whether Spongebob or Richard Nixon is on the front. Sure, kids will see their favorite Nicktoon all over the cereal aisle. They'll want every box of Artifically Flavored Sugar Bombs they see. Does that mean you as the parent are obligated to buy them? Absolutely not.
Sure, my kids will gobble up an entire box of Kix and call it "Dora Cereal" because they see her on the box. That does not mean Nickelodeon is responsible. I had to put that box in the shopping cart. I had to pay for it. It didn't just appear in my pantry via some teleportation device at Nick headquarters.
What this all boils down to, my dear friends, is simple parental responsibility. If your offspring make it a regular habit of overturning tables and eating off of stranger's plates, keep them out of the restaurant. If you don't want your kids living on a diet of high fructose corn syrup and crude animal fat, don't buy it.
The solutions are out there folks. The problem is, it shouldn't be up to someone else to point them out to us.

Excuse Me While I Procrastinate

2005-12-05T13:01:00.000-05:00

I'm really just wasting time to avoid the grocery store. Not that I mind grocery shopping. Actually, I genuinely enjoy it. Nothing better than trying to keep my two whirling torrents of freezer aisle fury in check to awaken the senses.
So why then would I want to procrastinate? Why would I put off for later what I could be doing right now?
They've predicted snow.
A whopping 5 to 7 inches (read that with a certain amount of sarcasm).
Now, any of you that live in Delaware or the surrounding region know what I'm talking about. There's something about these people around here that sets them into a panic the minute snow is talked about.
For some reason, unbeknownst to me, everyone suddenly needs milk, bread and eggs. It doesn't seem to matter if you actually eat these things or not. If its going to snow, you MUST have them. Forget the shovels or ice melter. We need egg sandwiches and a glass of milk.
I've lived here practically my entire life. Never..... NEVER have we had such a massive amount of snow that you would be housebound for more than a day, possibly two. Hardly a need to horde food items that you probably already have on hand.
What makes the whole deal even funnier, as I drove past the store coming home from picking up Big One at school the parking lot was full of oversized, 4 wheel drive, fossil fuel sucking SUVs. C'mon folks..... You've got the off road ability. Use it. I may purposely wait until the snow starts (and the wife comes home) to pull out the 'Roo (our Subaru Outback... I love that car) and tear up some wintry precipitation.
If you don't hear from in a day or two....... look for me buried deep in one of Delaware's massive snowbanks along Route 40 (another one to read with sarcasm). I'll be the one cooking eggs and making toast on my engine block, drinking milk right out of the carton.

Congratulations Bucs

2005-12-04T08:11:00.000-05:00

The Caravel Academy Buccaneers have won the Division II Delaware State Championship. You guys had an amazing season. This title says it all.
Way to go Bucs.

(Oh yeah...... Sallies did a good job as well.)

The ONE Good Thing About Winter Is....

2005-12-03T14:18:00.000-05:00

Its the only time of the year I make an honest attempt to jump into the Atlantic Ocean.
Every year (except one..... damned flu) for the past 6 years I've jumped into the ocean on the first Sunday of February. Sure, it can get a bit chilly. The first year I did it, the water droplets on my legs froze to my leg hair. Two years ago, the water temperature was actually warmer than the air temperature. Its usually windy and there's always alot of other people jumping in with me. The best part is, its all for a great cause. Its all to benefit Special Olympics Delaware. Slightly better, this year it just happens to fall on my birthday.
If anyone out there is willing to join me, get your registration forms here. If you're willing to sponsor me, even better....... contact me and I'll let you know how.

We're Expanding

2005-12-02T06:58:00.000-05:00

Whoa.....
Hold on there....
Don't get any thoughts in your head.
I am not talking about the family. I'm talking about my Dads group.
The Delaware At Home Dad Association
We've just bought our own domain name. Its exciting in that geeky kinda way.

We're looking for new members. If you happen to be in the vicinity of Delaware, and you happen to be a guy that takes pride in caring for his kids while it seems like all the other guys are working at a bank (as it seems everyone else in Delaware does), give us a shout.

In Case I Hadn't Mentioned It Before....

2005-12-02T06:52:00.000-05:00

I do NOT like Christmas.
I don't like lights. I don't like decorations. I don't like Christmas music. And I HATE f'n fruitcake.
But here, ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present to you, the 2005 version of
MY CHILDREN'S CHRISTMAS WISH LISTS.

Thanks Stan

2005-11-29T21:43:00.000-05:00

I grew up reading and loving the Berenstain Bears. Stan and Jan Berenstain helped teach me alot of the important lessons. Now, they're teaching my kids both in the books and on PBS.
While I'm sure The Bears will live on Stan will be greatly missed.

At Least

2005-11-29T21:40:00.000-05:00

I'm not alone.

Honestly....

2005-11-28T18:23:00.000-05:00

How much can one man stand?
Last night..... around 10-10:30ish I let my dog out for her nightly "business". Little did I know I was in for a near repeat of this.
The Wife let the dog in, so it didn't have an immediate effect on me. It wasn't until I settled into my easy chair with my loving dog at my feet did I get a noseful of the most GOD AWFUL STENCH imaginable. Yes, even worse than Nathan's and rotting flesh. This was somewhat of a mix of Iam Lamb and Rice Weight Control Formula, rotting flesh and the standing water at the back of my yard which my dog finds tastes better than the stuff from the tap.
Somehow, for reasons only known to the dog and whichever God she chooses to accept, she spent the better part of her time in the backyard rolling, flipping, smearing and generally cavorting in her own waste product. She seemed to be covered, head to tail with this brown sticky, smelly mess.
Fortunately, it wasn't as cold as it has been the few nights before. She could have put up more of a fight when I turned the hose on her. She could have snapped while I poured half a bottle of baby shampoo over her back and scrubbed all the while cursing her to a fate worse than death. She could have done any number of things...... But she knows who the Alpha is in this pack.
She's the one inside watching the news and drinking her tea. It sure as hell ain't the schmuck cleaning the crap off the dog at 11p.m.

Another (almost) Scroogey Post.... Expect More

2005-11-26T07:24:00.000-05:00

I've stated before how I'm not a fan of the holiday season.
No matter what happens, there's very little that will ever change my opinion on that. One thing for certain though, I do find a little joy this time of year since having kids.
Yesterday morning, we went to Wilmington's annual Christmas Parade. Its as cheesy as I ever remember it being. Politicians in antique cars glad handing any and all that cross their paths. Half hearted floats with knock-off cartoon characters and local "celebrities". High school bands that couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. But, to watch it all through my kids' eyes made it all good. Even the skinny guy in the fake beard and ill fitting Santa suit seemed real.
Also, we live very close to one of the grossest displays of electricity comsumption gone bad. The girls have both claimed this to be Santa's house. Forget about the North Pole, the big guy has moved to beautiful downtown Bear, Delaware.
Anyway..... last night, they turned the lights on for the first time this year. Of course, we HAD to be there. For years, I've considered this to be nothing but a huge waste of natural resources. They even put our a donation box to help them pay the electric bill for the season. But once again, veiwing it through the eys of these kids made it different. Not that I don't still hold in my mind that this is a terrible waste, but to see that look of amazement in their eyes..... priceless.
So I put a 5 spot in the box.

I Guess I Had It Pretty Easy

2005-11-24T23:17:00.000-05:00

Ya know, there's only a few things I remember about the times The Wife was pregnant.
Her feet hurt. She was slightly irratable some of the time. Really irratable the rest of the time.
And I remeber having to make midnight (or later) runs to the grocery store for watermelon.
I guess she could have sent me out for this.

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-24T07:54:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for The Wife. Good times and bad, she's always there.
I'm thankful for The Big One. She changed my world forever and I can't imagine it any other way.
I'm thankful for The Wee One. She manages to bring a smile to my face every day.
I'm thankful for being able to do what I truly believe is my life's calling.
I'm thankful for having a family that supports me in what I do.
I'm thankful for the roof over my head.
I'm thankful for having a great group of dads to hang out with.
I'm thankful for still being here. There's been some questionable times in my past.
I'm thankful for this outlet for creativity and frustration.
I'm thankful for all my readers.

On a lighter note, I'm thankful Disco's dead.

How about you?

Sit Back, Relax And Let Me Tell You A Little Story

2005-11-22T05:47:00.000-05:00

Poop. Doo-doo. Shit. Crap. Feces. Doodie. Number 2. Excrement. Poo. Dung. B.M. Anal Output. Caca. Defecation. Merde. Klingons from Uranus. Scat.
Call it what you will, last Thursday night I'd seen more than any man, woman or child should.
The Wife was working late, so it was my job to send both girls off to Dreamland. Wee One went to bed first, if for no other reason, because she usually gives less of a fight about it. Big One was on her bed giving me the usual "But Daaaaddddyyyyy, I'm not tiiiired" speech I usually hear moments before she collapses and immediately goes into R.E.M. sleep. In the distance, I can hear Wee One crying a bit. Nothing out of the norm. A little wimper, she's probably just really tired and is having trouble getting comfortable. Then, like a shot ringing out in the night, I hear the words..... still clear in my mind..... "Daddy, I have poop." "I'll just change her diaper and get her back to sleep", I naively thought to myself. Within a few feet of her room, I notice the light has been turned on and there's a distinctive odor in the air, a unique blend of Nathan's Famous All Beef Franks and rotting flesh. I opened the door to the most horrific sight my eyes have displeasure of gazing upon.
There, standing in the middle of her room, was my beloved child. Stripped bare to the skin. Hands covered in brown gloves of her own waste matter. A quick survey of her body showed it was nowhere else, thankfully. Then I noticed the rest of the room.
The poor child had removed her clothes and then full diaper. Scooped up the poop, smearing it on her hands. I suppose she had tried to open the door since it was also covering the door, the knob and packed into the locking mechanism. It was on the wall, the lightswitch, her dresser, crib and rocking chair. Worst of all, my poor shit stained child tried cleaning her hands on the carpet. Tiger like stripes off brown were marking the floor in several directions.
Quickly but carefully, I scooped my fecally coated offspring off the floor and moved quickly for the nearest sink. Scrubbing like I've never scrubbed before, I cleared my beloved poop monkey of her defecation decoration and quickly got her dressed again. I stripped her bed and remade it, after getting her into it, began the process of scrubbing.
45 minutes, a roll of paper towels, half a bottle of Lysol cleaner and a carpet steaming later, my job was done.
15 minutes after that The Wife comes home. Before I can respond to her first question, one that I was greatly prepared to answer, "How was your day?", she looks around, slightly puzzled....... "What's that smell?"

Home Sweet Home

2005-11-21T18:47:00.000-05:00

I'm back from my much deserved weekend away.
Chicago is quite a city and the convention was fantastic. I met plenty of other At Home Dads, made a few new friends and reaffirmed my relationship with my kids.
I never really knew before what it was like to miss them. This was the first time in four and a half years I've been away from home for more than a few short hours. Amazing how much you can miss a person in such a short time.
Dr. Kyle Pruett's keynote address could have been informative for some. Not to say it wasn't good, but he was sort of preaching to the choir. He told us of his continuing study proving that children of more involved fathers actually do turn out o.k. I'm sure there weren't many men in that room that couldn't have told him that before he even started.
I took alot more information away from the breakout sessions, informative, round table sit-downs with fellow dads that really knew what they were talking about.
But, aside from reaffirming my career choice, the greatest thing I took away from this convention was the brotherhood we all shared. Just being in a room with 100 other guys that are doing the same thing I'm doing day in and day out was a moving experience.
There's bound to be some changes to the convention soon, and they're looking for suggestions. Rebeldad has set up a wiki for ideas. If you've been to the convention and have thoughts on how to make it better, or, if you've never been and there's something that would convince you to attend stop by and drop him a line.

I've set up a Flickr account. Follow the link on the right to check out some of my shots from the convention.
There's more to come.

Venus and Mars....

2005-11-17T15:35:00.000-05:00

If there's one big difference between the men (me) and the women (everyone else) in this house, its the amount of time spent packing.
I just packed for my weekend in Chicago in under 5 minutes. Three changes of clothes. That's more than I'll really need, but it all fit into my small bag neatly enough to not have to worry about checking any luggage. Had we been packing for the females of the house, my experience as a tractor trailer driver would come in handy.

T Minus 33 Hours And 15 Minutes To Lift Off

2005-11-17T04:29:00.000-05:00

Not Dad Enough????

2005-11-14T14:41:00.000-05:00

I don't recall if I've ever mentioned it, but a few months back I contacted our local hospital to offer my services in what they called a "Daddy and Me" program.
The idea is to familiarize guys that are new to the whole "Dad thing".
I thought to myself, who better could they possibly find for this spot than someone who's been doing it since day one with his kids. I've changed more diapers, warmed more bottles, cleaned up more spit-up and wiped more boogers than most moms I know. If anyone can teach these guys how to do what you've got to do, its ME.
According to the Parent Education Department at the Christiana Hospital, I'm dead wrong.
I could understand if someone tried pulling the old "over qualified" line...... but no.
They feel that I could not relate to working dads. I could not comprehend or explain how to balance work and family.
WHAT????
To a point, I can almost see where they're coming from. On the other hand, is this about learning to be a dad or learning how to deal with your family when you get home from the office? Some people may not believe it, but there is a difference. I'm a dad.... strike that.... I'm a professional dad.... strike that.... I'm ONE HELLUVA PROFESSIONAL DAD. There are few on this planet that know more about being a dad than I do. I'm not saying I know more than anyone, but I know I've got most of the population beat. Not only can I tell you how to change/feed/soothe/hold/play with your baby, I can show you how to do it and remain manly at the same time.
As to relating to the working dads.... I may not head out to the office every day, but you can be sure that come 6 o'clock I'm just as tired as Mr. 9to5er and I can relate to the wife he's left at home to care for his little tax deduction. And personally, I think that's a point the hospital missed. If there's one thing I think more working men need to learn its sympathy for the wives they leave at home each morning. Too many guys think its all Bon Bons on the sofa while watching soaps. They don't understand that being an at-home parent really is more than a full time job. I, like most others, don't go "off the clock". If the kids get up in the middle of the night, I'm there. If they're up at some ungodly hour of the morning, I'm there. If they're sick, cranky, just plain irritable I can't take a long lunch and avoid them the rest of the afternoon..... I'm there.
What could I possibly teach a working dad?
Three R's:
Respect..... Respect your at-home wife. She's working too.... And its damned hard.
Responsibility..... Hey, they're your kids too. Give them a little one on one time. You'll love it, they'll love it, Mom will love it.
Relax.... Being a dad isn't as hard as it looks. Teach your kids love and they'll give it back. Have fun.

My rant is done..... Thanks

The Three Words That Best Describe Me Are As Follows, And I Quote, "Stink, Stank, Stunk"

2005-11-11T10:24:00.000-05:00

I am NOT a fan of the upcoming season.
I won't sugar coat it. I could blame it on the fact that 16 years ago I spent Christmas on Parris Island, not exactly the happiest place on earth. The truth is, it probably goes back longer than that.
For a while, I thought my feelings would change once I had little ones around. I was wrong. While Christmas morning has become a lot more fun, my overall feelings for the season haven't changed one bit. Well, it may be changing for the worse actually.
Wee One and I were walking the mall this morning when I noticed something disturbing. No, not the fact the Christmas decorations were already hung. They've been up since a week before Halloween, I'm used to seeing them already. It's that they've got The Big Guy..... Santa himself..... showing up TOMORROW (that would be November 12th)!!!!!
The last time I checked, we're still two weeks away from Thanksgiving and the "official" start of the holiday season.
I suppose by the time I have grandkids to share my holiday joy (read that with an air of sarcasm) with, we'll be starting it around August 15th.
Ugh......
Where do I sign up to become Jewish?

Some Days You're The Windshield, Some Days You're The Bug

2005-11-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

Today, I was the windshield.
Everything just sort of fell into place and worked out for the best.
I had a decent night's sleep, woke up refreshed and had a great workout. Got Big One to school on time (a rarity for Monday mornings of late). My buddy at the gym comped me a protein shake which turned out to be quite tasty. Nothing could throw a wrench in this morning.
Oh wait..... I tried loading a disk into the optical drive of my PowerBook and heard some noises that a Mac is NOT supposed to make followed by the spitting out of the aforementioned disk. CRAP.
This has to wait..... there's grocery shopping to do. Wee One and I pack up and head to the market. She's absolutely angelic. She helps me pick out the foods she wants and even reminds me I don't want that pack of cookies. The Wife is still on vacation and she's picking up Big One from school, so there's no rush.
Of course, my phone has to ring. The Wife is stuck in traffic and she's not sure she'll make it to the school in time. O.K. Let me check out and get over there double time. We actually cross paths at the intersection leading to the school, so I leave her to her appointed rounds and head straight home to get these groceries put away while she picks up Big One. With my re-routing, I even get to bypass the accident that had traffic tied up in the first place. Sweet.
Wee One dropped the eggs in the driveway.
No problem..... I've got to cut back on the egg consumption anyway.
Lunch goes off without a hitch and Wee One settles peacefully into a nap. I'm off to the Apple store to get this blasted thing looked at. It would appear there's something stuck in there. Hopefully they can get it out, and IF they can then even more hopefully it will still work properly..... New optical drive = $200+..... ugh.
Guess where the puzzle pieces I've been looking for over the past three days were.
Thankfully, there's no damage to the drive. Not only do I get to save the 200 clams, but since they got such a good laugh out of the whole ordeal, the nice guys at the Apple store don't even charge me for pulling the cardboard from my laptop saving me $85.
I'm home in time to get dinner in the works when I realize I didn't get the meat to make the tacos I had planned. Its all good though.... The Wife's in the mood for chicken and dumplings. We're off to Cracker Barrel.
On second thought, The Wife's been home with these kids for a week. She's on her last ounce of sanity. Maybe dinner out with my two restaurant terrorists isn't such a fine idea.
Wouldn't you know..... they both behaved like little ladies. They even had "pleases" and "thank yous" for the waitress.
Wow.
I think I'm going to head to bed before I wake up..... this day really has been TOO good.

Ummmm, Thanks, But No Thanks

2005-11-06T10:15:00.000-05:00

The other day I was in the gym as usual when I was approached by one of my fellow health seekers. He told me his semi pro football team was having open tryouts in a couple of weeks. He added that I'm in as good a shape as anyone on his team and I should try out. I have to admit, for a brief second, I thought about it. It might be fun to don a set of pads again and hit the gridiron. Then it dawned on me... I'm going to be 35 in a few short months. I may feel pretty good while I'm in the gym, but time has begun to creep up on me and I tend to feel it later..... and for a lot longer than I used to.
I told him I'd love to, but I thought I might be too old (this guy's in his 20s). He said "What are you??? 26? 27?" As flattered as I was I simply told him the truth. His only response was, "Oh.... yeah. You may be right."
It appears that most of the guys playing in this league are in their early to mid 20s. I'd definitely be the OLD man. I'd actually be older than one of the coaches I was told.
So now, I'm not sure how to take this. I don't know if I should be flattered that I was asked or flabbergasted that he so easily admitted I was too old.
Before you get any ideas in your head, I'm NOT trying out for this team. I don't need to prove anyone wrong and I sure as heck don't need to prove myself right.
Maybe I'll just take up golf.

2005-11-04T04:21:00.000-05:00

The Wife is on vacation for a few days. So, therefore, I am as well.
I'll be back soon.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY???????

2005-10-31T13:22:00.000-05:00

With a four year old and a two year old in the house, the one word I hear more than any other would have to be "Why".
This morning, it came from an adult. Someone at the gym wondered why I do what I do. Why would I decide to stay home with my kids?
For a while, I could whip out an answer for this with ease. Something I'd probably pull out of the unofficial textbook of excuses. Today, for some reason, I really gave it some thought though.
Many times I've said The Wife and I decided on it because what used to be my paycheck would have gone almost entirely toward daycare. The thought of making money just to pass it off to someone else to raise my child made no sense.
Truth be told, we live quite comfortably. I could still work outside if I wanted to and not worry about how much is spent on childcare. In fact, we're comfortable enough that we could both NOT work for a while if we didn't really need that pesky medical insurance.
I've also said we made the choice for me to stay with the kids simply because I'm better with kids than The Wife. While this may be true, I think it's something she'd get used to. They have a tendency to grow on you when you're around them 24/7. She (The Wife) is getting better as the years go by. She still doesn't quite "get" how I stay sane (whoever gave her the idea I was sane in the first place I don't know). But I think if she truly wanted to do what I do she could.
So then, why do I do this?
I could wrap it up in the pretty package and put a nice ribbon on it and tell you I do all for the love of my children. That would be sweet. Its also mostly true. I love them far too much for anyone else to raise them. I would have a problem even if The Wife wanted to switch. I'd truly be left with an empty spot.
A main reason I do it though is a psychologists field day. My father left us when I was 4 and my sister was 2. Sure, we had weekend visits and some holidays, but they were never really that great. Other than when the court said he HAD to see us, we rarely ever saw him. When I was about 14, he took off for Alabama and I didn't see him again until just a week before he died suddenly almost 10 years later. My mother did re-marry. Don't get me wrong, my step father is a great guy. Financially speaking, we were always taken care of. But in the Dad Department, there was something missing. He wasn't the type to come out to the ball games or splash around in the pool with. He was the one that put dinner on the table (Mom might have cooked it, but he's the one that paid the grocery bill), and kept a roof over our heads. He was a hard worker and I'd never take that away from him or trade him for any other. Mom could have done a lot worse. But, as I like to say, I learned how to be a dad by negative example. I don't ever want my kids to not know where I am or how I'm doing. I don't want my kids to forget what I look like except for an outdated photo. I want my kids to be able to look to the sidelines when they're on the soccer field and see me cheering them on, or to look out from the stage of their recital and see me wide eyed in amazement that my baby is getting so big. Any shrink would tell you I'm overcompensating for the shortcomings of my own youth. Do I care? Hell no. I know what its like to have to call your father to remind him he has to pick you up for your weekend together or he may forget. I know what its like to have to pat yourself on the back after a big game because the man you call "Dad" is busy working and couldn't be there. It sucks. And with the entire audience that is the internet as my witness, my kids lives will NOT SUCK.
I may joke about having a future doctor and lawyer in my care, but truth be told, it doesn't really matter. They can do what they will with their lives..... As long as they're happy, I'm happy. And right now, I'm happy.

Guess What I Watched Last Night...

2005-10-30T11:01:00.000-05:00

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All
Work and
No
Play makes Jack
A dull
Boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

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There's Pumpkins, Then There's Punkins

2005-10-28T15:32:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year again.
Y'all come on down to Delaware and we'll show ya a good time. (That, my friends, would be a punkin' chunker. A large gun used to propel innocent pumpkins large distances.)

What's In A Name?

2005-10-28T14:35:00.000-04:00

Today was the Halloween party/parade at Big One's preschool.
Needless to say, a fun time was had by all. I'm even starting to break through with some of the mom's in the class. A few of them actually took the time to talk to me today. I guess they've finally figured out that I'm not going anywhere.
I'm also starting to get used to my new name.... Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I have a new name.
I've gone by many names over the years. Jeff, Jeffrey, Jeffrey David (when Mom was REALLY upset), I've been called by my last name (there are some folks out there that never even knew it wasn't my first), Lurch, A-hole (that's from the guy on I-95). This newest name though is the one I'd have to say I'm most proud of. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce to you, Mr. (insert Big One's real name here) Dad.
Not just to the kids in her class, but also to parents, teachers and faculty..... Thank You. It's a title I'll cherish always.